Page 47 of Waiting for Redemption

“Okay buddy, get the table cleaned up. Dinner is ready!” I take a step back, giving her room to get the casserole from the oven, never taking my eyes off of her.

“Tank, do you want to see what I drew?” he asks, sorting through the papers on the table.

“Yeah buddy, but why don’t we eat first, huh? Since you’resostarving.” I remind him.

“Oh, yeah. Good plan. I’ll just put this one over here to show you after.” He slides a piece of construction paper to the side as he gathers the rest of his supplies to return to the closet.

“Hey, do you mind grabbing Hendrix’s cup while I take the casserole to the table?” Ruby asks while sifting through her spice cabinet.

“Here, I can take it for you,” I offer, reaching for the casserole dish.

“Oh, okay thanks,” she says, turning back to face me once she grabs the hot sauce. I grab the casserole from the stove top and start towards the table but as soon as I do, Ruby is yelling, “Tank, wait!”

As soon as I hear it, the sensation makes it from my brain to my hands and I can feel them burning.

I am barehanded holding a piping hot casserole dish.

“Fuck!”I yell.

Before I can reach the opposite counter, I drop the casserole dish on the floor.

Glass shatters, sending a ringing to my ears almost immediately.

When Ruby yells I find myself flashing back to a memory I’d all but forgotten.

Suddenly this kitchen is a battlefield, and things go from bad to worse.

I’m unable to catch my breath, feeling exposed and helpless with no idea how to ground myself, as reality and a flashback fight for my attention.

“Mommy, I need help!” Hendrix yells, making the flashback hit me full force—becoming the only thing I see.

“The child was last seen on the second floor. Snipers saw movement up there but proceed with caution, our view is obstructed and it’s unclear if the movement detected was from the child or something else.” I nod, waving Dom and Asher to follow my lead. After clearing the first floor we make it to the top of the landing where a ragged tapestry with burn holes is hung. I catch a glimpse through one of the holes of a small figure huddled in the corner next to some beat-up old furniture and give the guys silent instructions on what to do next. We walk through the threshold one after the other and clear every angle of the room before I make my way over to the child. He has his ears covered, rocking back and forth on the floor and my heart aches for him thinking of how scared he must be right now. Before I reach him to let him know we’re here to help, an arm pops out of a credenza and grabs my shoulder. I turn around, pulling the person out of the furniture, and pin him against the wall with my forearm. As Dom comes to my aide, Asher goes to retrieve the child who is now frantically screaming.

“Mommy! Mommy!” When I hear him scream again, chills shoot down my spine.

“MOMMY! TANK, STOP! YOU’RE HURTING HER!”

All at once the flashback fades and I’m brought back to an even more devastating reality. I have Ruby pinned against the pantry door—in the same way I’d pinned the terrorist to the wall all those years ago—and when I can finally focus back on her eyes, they’re full of fear and heartbreak. I pull away as fast as I can, completely in shock over what just happened.

What the fuck have I done?

“Mommy!” Hendrix cries, running into Ruby’s arms.

As the adrenaline and shock wears off, I’m left with nothing but panicked breaths and self-loathing.

“Ruby… I am—I am sososorry…” My voice cracks as the magnitude of the situation hits me. Tears begin streaming down her face as she holds Hendrix close to her, silent sobs racking her body. She pulls in one deep breath to steady herself.

“I think you should go.” Her voice quivers as she stares back at me.

“Please, please let me explain,” I beg, taking a slow step forward. I see her features harden as she stands a little taller.

“Tank, please hear me. I don’t need an explanation right now. I just need some time…weneed some time.Alone.” She looks down and Hendrix, who still has his face buried in the crook of his elbow while his arms are wrapped tightly around her waist. When she looks back up at me, her brows knit together with a pained expression that doesn’t require words for me to understand.

No explanation I give is going to change what her son just had to witness because ofme.

My heart begins to break—slowly and painfully—as I see everything I was beginning to love slip away from me with each passing second.

“I think we all need some space, and you need to figure things out.” She looks up at the ceiling fighting back more tears that dare to fall down her cheeks anyways. “Because this can’t happen again.” Her eyes well with tears that are so thick her eyes look golden.

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