Page 40 of Waiting for Redemption

Did I just kiss him to calm him down or did I do it because deep down I know I want this?

Did he only kiss me back to keep from breaking someone’s nose?

Doeshewant this to mean more than it did?

Have I blinked in the last 15 minutes?

Looking up at Tank, he looks more carefree than I’ve ever seen him before. He’s singing along to whatever song is playing right now and the smile on his face is the one that makes part of my brain unable to focus on anything but him. The butterflies I’m growing more and more used to, are fluttering around viciously in my stomach as he pulls me closer to him, planting another kiss on the top of my head.

CHAPTER15

TANK

Out of all thethings I’ve experienced in my life—from fist fights, to combat, traveling the world, to the best buzz I’ve ever had—nothing comes close to the feeling of kissing Ruby. I’ve dreamt of that moment almost every day since the night we danced at the bar. She tastes like cherries and I don’t think I’ll ever crave another flavor more.

No matter how good that moment felt though, I still can’t pinpoint if it happened simply to keep me from breaking someone’s nose, or if a part of her wanted that as much as I did.Iknow I was probably seconds from blacking out again, butshedidn’t know that. So I can’t help but wonder where her motivation came from. She’s mentioned before that she hasn’t been with anyone since having Hendrix, and a part of me wonders if she’s ready to take a chance with someone… withme.

I would fight every day to put my own darkness to rest if I thought I would ever have the chance to truly love Ruby—even if I know there will be a war within me as I try to prove to be a better man for her.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned during the time I’ve gotten to spend with her, it’s that my demons don’t like how happy I am when she’s around. They immediately start reminding me that I’m not good enough, that I’m unworthy, and that even if she were ready to take that chance with me, that I would likely end up doing something to ruin it all. Which is why I tell myself, once again, that she was just being a good friend, and nothing more.

* * *

Ruby

I have a massive favor to ask you.

Me

Shoot.

Ruby

Hendrix needs to be picked up from school but we are slammed right now and I can’t leave and none of the girls are available to go get him. Would you mind just picking him up and bringing him here?

Me

So I’m just a last resort? You know, you could have just called me first instead of checking with the rest of the spice girls.

Ruby

I don’t even know how to respond to that except to ask, which one am I supposed to be?

Me

Hmm… This feels like a trap. Which one is Baby Spice?

Ruby

Wrong. Are you getting my kid or what?

Me

Yep. See you in a bit.

Ruby

Thank you so much. I’ll let the school know you’re coming.

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