Page 133 of Waiting for Redemption

“But my heart it is brighter

Than all of the many

Stars in the sky,

For it sparkles with Annie?—

It glows with the light

Of the love of my Annie?—

With the thought of the light

Of the eyes of my Annie.”

The amount of poetry my husband has memorized impresses me greatly. He’s been reading to the baby every night since we found out about him or her and I love every second of it. Hendrix is always nearby with about a thousand questions about what it all means, to which Tank is always eager to explain his takeaway from whatever is read.

After telling Leah and Lauren at Christmas last night I thought I would be mopping them off the floor there were so many tears. We spent the rest of the night making a baby board on Pinterest while I got to snuggle Cece. She looks so much like Shane it’s ridiculous. But when I look up at the painting Shane gifted us for Christmas—a photo from our wedding day that Lauren snapped while Tank and I were looking down at Hendrix at the altar—and I secretly hope mine and Tank’s baby looks like him. His deep green eyes, his dark brown hair, or his perfect smile. No matter who they look like though, I know for a fact they’ll get plenty of his character traits because I already see them rubbing off on Hendrix.

We spend the rest of the day playing with Hendrix’s new toys, watching Christmas movies, or snuggled on the couch by the fire while going through different baby names, while I pinch myself to see if this is really my life.

Loved.

Cherished.

Protected.

Pregnant.

CHAPTER42

TANK

4 MONTHS LATER…

SPRING BREAK

The momentI saw that truck barreling down the road, I knew I had to act quickly. When I accelerated to miss getting hit directly, I thought I had escaped the crash altogether, but the 18-wheeler clipped the bed of my truck, sending me spinning into a light pole—right before another car followed, sandwiching me in between them.

All I could think of in that moment were Ruby and Hendrix and how there was no way I was leaving them behind, not like that. I fought to stay conscious until I was put under for surgery, and even then my mind was doing its best to keep my thoughts within reality. I dreamt of that night, how it would have gone had I made it back home with dinner and our suitcases. I could see us eating in the living room, packing for the beach, and watching my wife frantically scan every room to ensure we haven’t forgotten anything, all while I assure her that we still had a couple ofweeksbefore the trip.

When I could feel the pain meds wearing off, my dreams shifted to the present and I could feelher.Unable to find the energy to open my eyes yet, or even squeeze her hand to let her know I was with her, I could hear her voice and it's as if my soul sighed with relief. I could hear her telling me how much I’ve changed her life, wanting nothing more than to tell her that it’s the least I could do since she changed mine first. My heart dared to stop when I heard her last statement. I forced my eyes open, seeing her looking down at her stomach, and the joy that filled every inch of my being was completely overwhelming.

We’re having a baby?

I thought the words were confined to my mind only, but her head snapped up and the look in her eyes told me I must have said them aloud.

We’re having a baby.

I’m going to be a dad.

That moment is one that will be locked into my mind for the rest of my life.

“Mom! Can we do the surprise now?” Hendrix’s voice cuts through my thoughts, running up to where Ruby and I are lying in the sand. She sits up on her elbows, the cutest little baby bump I’ve ever seen poking through her black swimsuit even more when she does.

“Right now? You don’t wanna wait until later?” she asks as he shakes his head vigorously.

“Okay. We can do it now.” I sit up straighter, giving them a curious look.

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