Page 130 of Waiting for Redemption

“You passed out. Have you been feeling okay? You look really pale.”

“It’s probably just stress. This has been happening lately when I’m in high-anxiety situations,” I explain, sipping on my water. Taylor’s eyes narrow on me, though I can’t read the expression behind them.

“What do you mean it’sbeenhappening?”

“When I get super stressed sometimes I throw up and get a little light-headed. I’ve just had a lot going on lately,” I explain, frustrated that any attention is being given to me when my husband is going through God only knows what right now.

“Come on, I wanna get you checked out.”

“No, Tay. I’m fine. I’m just worried about Tank. When is he supposed to be out of surgery?” I run my hand through my hair, looking up at the clock to see how much time has passed since we got here.

“I know you’re worried about him.” She takes my hands in hers. “We all are, but I want to make sure you’re okay too. You could have an ulcer or something from all the stress you’ve been under the last few weeks. Okay? It won’t take long and as soon as Tank is out of surgery we will go straight to him.” I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to be anywhere else but here so the doctor can find us when they have information about Tank.

“I’ll stay here in case the doctor comes out,” Tucker says as if he’d read my mind.

“Fine. But assoonas that doctor comes out–”

“We go,” Taylor cuts me off, agreeing to my terms.

* * *

“He fractured a few of his ribs, we did several scans and x-rays to ensure they didn’t puncture any organs or cause any internal bleeding. We gave him some medication for the pain and we’ll keep him here for observation overnight but he should be cleared to go home tomorrow.” The relief that washes over me almost causes my knees to buckle, but I somehow manage to stay upright.

“Thanks, Doc,” Taylor says as Tucker wraps an arm around each of us.

“He’s in recovery now, the pain meds knocked him out so we’re just waiting for him to wake up. You’re welcome to go in and see him though.”

“You go ahead, we’ll be in later. I’ll update Max.” Tucker nods for me to go on.

“But you’re his brother. I know you–”

“And you’re his wife. You go. I’ll see him in a bit.” I nod and turn to follow the doctor to Tank’s recovery room, clutching my bag like it will somehow help keep me on my feet.

When I see him, all my other senses go numb. I don’t hear the doctor or the nurse talking, I don’t feel anything besides my heart breaking, and all I see is him. Unconscious in a hospital bed with cuts and bruises all over his still strikingly handsome face. I drop my bag in the chair and sit on the edge of his bed, lifting his hand gently to hold onto it, needing to touch him in some way. To feel his pulse in my hands, to see that he’s actually okay. Because for the entire time he was in surgery my brain could only think the worst.

That he may never come out of surgery, that like the other man from the accident, he wouldn't make it. That Hendrix would never get to share his last name and that our new little baby would never get to meet the incredible man who helped make him or her. Tears begin streaming down my face, landing on the ultrasound of the little life I’ve been carrying around for a few weeks now without a single clue. The little person who is half of me and half of the man I can’t imagine living without.

“You better wake up soon so I can yell at you.” I sniffle through a laugh, trying to keep myself from falling apart. “You scared the shit out of me.” I wipe the tears from my eyes, running the back of my hand along his scratched-up face.

“You may not realize this, my love, but you’ve consumed every part of my life since the day we saidI do. Losing you would completely destroy me. You gave me my life back, Tank Landry. You’ve reminded me that I am strong, brave, and–” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “Worthy of love from a man as honorable as you. You’re everything to Hendrix and me. And you’ll be everything to this little baby too, I just know it.” I place my hand on my stomach, looking down at the ultrasound of our little peanut. Wondering if they’ll have his beautiful green eyes and light hair, or brown eyes like Hendrix but have Tank’s infectious smile.

“We’re having a baby?” The rasp of his voice makes me gasp as I look up to see his green eyes watering.

“You’re awake.” My voice is a grateful whisper, held back by the wave of emotions I’m doing my best to conceal.

“We’re having ababy?” he asks again, his chest shaking as a tear falls from his eyes.

“We’re having a baby.” I shake my head excitedly, holding up the ultrasound to show him. He takes it from my hands and studies it, squeezing his eyes shut as he pulls me into his chest. We stay like this for a while, my tears soaking his chest while his fall into my hair. He kisses the top of my head a few times before I finally sit up to look at him.

“How do you feel?” I ask, caressing his cheek as I let my eyes take in every inch of his face. He blows out a breath like he’s contemplating how to answer.

“Like I got hit by a truck,” he scoffs, taking my hand in his before letting his eyes meet mine. “But that pales in comparison to how I feel about having a baby with the woman I love. I know I’m already a dad to Hendrix, but with this one,” he places his hand on my stomach, “I’ll get to be there for itall. Every diaper change, every word, every step. I get to be a dad from the beginning this time, and I’m so fucking happy about it, baby.” The emotion in his voice makes me smile in adoration.

“How are you feeling about it? Are you okay?” he asks, shifting in his bed to focus his concerns on me.

“I can’t think of anything better than having a little human that’s half of me and half of you. I was so scared today, Tank,” I admit. He pulls my hand to his lips, gently kissing my ring finger before placing my palm to his chest.

“How many times do I have to tell you, little wife. Not even death could keep me from you, and if there’s life after this, I will find you in every single one. My reason to live just grew by one heartbeat.” I lean into him, gently kissing his lips as I silently thank God for the man I get to call mine.

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