Page 68 of Waiting for Sunshine

“Hmm.. guess you’ll never know. Now get your ass on the counter, and spread those beautiful legs for me.” I demanded, nodding to the island behind us. She did as she was told, and my pallet was thoroughly cleansed.

Every morning after that when she would stay with me, I would have fucking Toaster Strudel and Sunshine for breakfast. So today, this strudel fucking sucked.

After I’ve blown through about two boxes of ammo, Tucker finally breaks the silence between us. “Max, man. What the fuck are you doing?” he asks, in his disappointed older brother voice.

“Planting roses. I’m slingin' lead, Tuck what’s it look like?” I mouth off, loading my next magazine.

“First of all smart ass, you could never. Second of all, put the mag down and talk to me like a man. You know damn good and well I meant what the fuck are you doing with Shane.” I think this is the first time in our entire friendship Tucker has sounded pissed off at me.

“I’m not doing anything with Shane. In case you haven’t noticed it’s hard to do anything with someone that’s 2,000 miles away.” I slam the mag down on the table getting pissed off right back at him.

“Yeah? Who’s fucking fault is it that she’s even there dumbass? Huh?” he yells at me, shaking his head.

“Watch it Tuck.” I warn, my jaw clenching so tight I think I might break a tooth.

“You know, I watched you for years try to grieve the loss of your mom when she passed. You had a new woman every other night, always gone before sunrise. Sleeping all day and drinking all night. Then you finally cleaned up to go on a few more deployments with the SEALs – and then we lost Red, and you completely shut down.” He lays into me, not holding anything back.

“I know, Tucker. I was there.” I remind him in a clipped tone.

“Yeah? Well so was I Max. In case you forgot, I lost him too, we all did. But you’re the one who shut the whole world out after that. I watched every single light inside of you burn out completely. No trace of hope or joy was left behind. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but a certain blonde with a personality straight from God himself lit that fire back in you. She brought that lost joy back to life?” He waits for a response that isn’t coming.

“Then you all but throw her on the next flight to San Francisco at the first mention of an opportunity out there for her. Without so much as asking her what she wanted first. I told you once before that she’s happier with you Max. I saw you change over the years, and we’ve been best friends for decades, but I saw her the first night she was in town too. It didn’t take a genius to see how much shit she was dealing with. Then I saw her after you finally let her in, when she was happier than anyone else I’ve ever seen. Then I saw her the day she left. You broke her man.” My eyes snap to him, my heart aching at his words.

“And you’re making the worst mistake of your life if you don’t open your eyes and fucking do something about it.” My jaw ticks as I work through everything I just heard.

You broke her man.

“You done?” I ask harshly, making Tucker scoff.

“Yeah, I’m done.” He says, his tone sounding defeated.

“Let’s go. I gotta get to work.” I grab my bag from the ground, throwing it in the back of his Bronco. Probably looking like a child throwing a tantrum, but I don’t really give a shit right now. My brain feels foggy and I don’t want to talk anymore. Not to Tucker, or anybody else. We load up our stuff and head back to the house, riding the whole way in complete silence. When I get back home, I toss my range bag back into the closet, and when I do the box of Shane’s stuff falls over. I stare at it a moment, letting Tucker’s words replay in my mind. I start to pick it up but decide against it. I can’t go there right now, I can’t let myself miss her, or think about how I could have possibly made a mistake. So I shut the door, and get ready for work.

CHAPTER32

SHANE

Hugh isthe boss that everyone wants, and no one deserves. He is truly like family to me at this point, and I am so grateful for everything he’s done for me since I met him. When I called him to tell him I would accept the head curator position atThe Gallery, he told me he would have one of his small apartments set up for me. A simple one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment that is in close proximity to work and conveniently enough, some of my favorite hangouts. I decided to walk down the boardwalk today since I have the day off.

I stop to look out at the ocean, letting the salty breeze wash over me. I pull my phone from my pocket and scroll through my photos. My eyes start to sting as I stop on pictures of me and Max. There are pictures of us from the club on Valentine’s Day – before he rocked Pete’s jaw and rushed me back to his place. There are photos of us at his house, and one of him and Riley asleep at the studio that I snapped during one of my prolonged painting sessions.

The one that I love the most is one I took super sneakily while he was making breakfast one morning. He hadn’t gotten dressed yet and wore only his black boxer briefs and a backward baseball cap. His tattoos on full display on his perfect, tanned skin. Riley had jumped up, placing her paws on the cabinet beside him while he was making french toast and he looked down at her and smiled so big his whole face lit up. It was a moment I wanted to remember forever.

I don’t even realize I’m crying until I see a teardrop hit my phone screen. I look back out at the ocean, groaning and wiping the tears from my cheeks. I am so sick of crying all the time, but I can’t help it. I miss him so much. When I look back down at my screen I see a text come through from Lauren.

Lauren

Meet me at Mario’s in 10.

I blink a few times in surprise because – what the hell is she doing in San Francisco?

Me

You’re here?

Lauren

Sure am. And I’m starving, so I hope you’re hungry.

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