Page 66 of Waiting for Sunshine

“Sure, just try to make it sooner than later, if you don’t take the position I have a stack of applications to thumb through to fill it.” I nod in response, cutting my eyes to Lauren who is looking at me much more intently now.

“Be in touch soon then. Happy Birthday, Love. I hope it was a fantastic one.” He kisses Lauren on the cheek and walks away, but I’m too numb to react.

My mind is still solely focused on Max, and the way he just left me and my shattered heart on the sidewalk.

“Babe, what on earth is going on? Where’d Max go and what the hell is Hugh talking about?” she asks. Damn Lauren, read the room.

“Excuse me,” I breathe out as I walk away from her. I rush to the bathroom to try and compose myself. I see Tucker and Tank on my way out, both of their gazes following me in with concern. When I get to the bathroom, I’m almost immediately joined by Taylor, Leah, and the birthday girl herself.

“Do you guys have like a radar on me or something?” I half heartedly laugh.

“Shane, what the hell happened?” Taylor asks. I try to think of a way to make it sound like nothing, to not take away from Lauren’s special night that we spent literally weeks planning. But I can’t ignore the lump in my throat when I go to answer. I let out a sob, and explain the events to them step by step.

“I don’t know why he reacted like that. I didn’t even tell him I was considering it or anything, he just told me to go, fired me, and left me. Literally left me standing on the sidewalk.” My voice cracks as I try to understand it all myself.

“I’m sure he was just upset at the thought. Once you guys talk it will all work out.” Leah reassures me. I hope she’s right. I need her to be right. I go back to the party for about 30 minutes, before I realize I won’t be fun for anyone anymore. I decide to head home and go straight to bed. But not the same bed I’ve grown used to sleeping in. Tonight I won’t be surrounded by the woodsy, vanilla and leather scent I’ve come so familiar with and the warm body that puts mine at ease. Tonight, it’s just me and a bottle of wine against the world.

Me

Please call me tomorrow. I don’t like how tonight ended.

Me

Max, you can’t just tell me to leave and then ignore me. I really want to talk to you about this.

Me

Are you working today? We really need to talk.

Me

I don’t want to go, Max. Please just call me.

After trying for four days to reach him – going to his house, looking at the bar, checking the gym, and asking Tucker, who was apparently under some loyalty oath, I had nothing. Until my sweatshirt from Max showed up at our door with a note.

The wave of tears that came next hurt more than any other ones I’ve ever cried. He is actually done with me. He returned this with a note pushing me even further away. In other circumstances, I wouldn’t leave without a fight. I would wait outside his door until he came home from wherever the hell he’s been. I would make him talk to me, or at least listen to me. I would tell him I didn’t want to go until I was blue in the face if that’s what it took.

But he’s trained to be hard and emotionless, not only as a SEAL but it’s who he’s been as a person for so long, that I think he’s done for good. I would normally stay and fight, but it hurts too much to be here without him. Without his flirty texts, his warm embrace, his passionate kisses, the way he looks at me. Nashville simply won’t be the same for me if I don’t have Max. And he’s clearly not coming back to me. Plus, I’m jobless again since he fired me, so what other choice do I have?

Me

Looks like you have a spare room again, Tay. I’m going back to San Francisco.

Taylor

I’m gonna kick his ass too. I don’t want my room, I want my best friend. Please don’t go.

Leah

Are you sure about this Shaney?

Lauren

Don’t make any hasty decisions over some guy. Think about it, babe.

Me

I can’t stay here. It already hurts too much.

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