Page 48 of Rescuing Tobias

The problem was she didn't know what it looked like.

Because like she’d just said, Isabella knew that Tobias’ issues weren't the only thing they had to contend with.

There were her issues, too.

The more time that passed from her abduction, the more she learned how deeply it had affected her. The sessions with Susanna helped because the woman was so easy to talk to and actually got where she was coming from, but they also helped because they guided her toward understanding her trauma better. The more she understood, the more issues she was able to identify.

More issues than it felt like she could deal with.

Especially on top of a pregnancy and a … whatever this was with Tobias.

“I should have been here for you from the beginning,” Tobias said as though sensing what she was going to say even though she hadn't said it yet.

“We didn't know each other,” she reminded him. It was easy to be angry and hurt that he hadn't replied to her texts, or reached out on his own, and that he hadn't shown any interest in the baby, but given that they had quite literally known each other for two days at the time it would be crazy to cling to those emotions.

He hadn't owed her anything.

Didn't then and didn't now. Not even if they were having a baby together.

“No, we didn't, but I think we both know we felt something.”

That was true. The connection had been forged from the moment he killed her worst tormentor. But that was a flimsy connection at best, and neither of them had really done a whole lot to nurture it.

Sure, they’d had sex, amazing sex, and she was attracted both to his body and, more importantly, his personality. She’d wanted more, but she hadn't been in any place emotionally to be able to go about asking for it.

One thing she did know was that if in her texts she had explicitly stated that she needed his support, he would have offered it in a heartbeat. But she hadn't done that because all the reasons why she wasn't in a place to be able to take on the emotional labor of a relationship kept rolling through her mind.

Nothing had really changed on that front. Everything felt like such a mess, and it was only knowing she was pregnant and that her little one was depending on her for literally every single thing that she hadn't already fallen apart.

“I’m sorry for not replying to your texts,” Tobias said as he inched a little closer to her, still respecting her boundaries, but sensing her distress and wanting to offer comfort.

“You didn't have to.”

“I didn't, but I wanted to. So badly.”

“You did?” It stroked her jangled nerves to know he’d been thinking about her and wanting to connect.

“Of course I did. Isabella, let’s get something straight. I think you are as gorgeous inside as you are outside. The way you kept trying to escape, how you fought against what those people were trying to make you do, the way you sassed at me and a SEAL team that night, all of those things are wildly attractive to me. Then the way you spoke up for your needs and advocated for yourself, I love that. And you reached out to me even though you knew you had a lot to lose by doing so. But you did it anyway, because you are so damn brave. Even though I never replied to your texts, you still came right to me to tell me about the baby because you believed it was the right thing to do. Again, firecracker, that’s pretty damn attractive. You’ve done everything every step of the way, and I've done nothing but let you down.”

“You're here now,” she reminded him. He didn't have to be, he didn't owe her anything, and yet he had come, fighting against his demons to do so.

“I am here now, and I’d like to stay close by if that’s okay with you. I want to be here to make sure those people don’t come after you a second time—well, third time I guess. But I’d also like to be here for you during the pregnancy.”

There was a hesitancy to his tone, as though he thought he might have already blown his chance. But he hadn't. While she didn't agree with his reasoning, she understood where he had been coming from and why he felt the way he felt.

“You’ve changed your mind on being involved?” Before she could make any kind of commitment, she had to know that Tobias wasn't going to change his mind back. If she was going to allow herself to learn to lean on him for support, she had to know that support was unconditional. Already she was hanging on by a thread, and she didn't want her baby’s father to be the thing that snapped it.

“If you're okay with it, I’d like to be involved every step of the way.”

“And after?”

“Well, I was hoping that over the next eight or so months we could get to know one another properly, see if maybe we might work as a …”

It was cute that he couldn’t bring himself to say the word.

She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to grow up with a parent who was becoming disabled, and to know that your other parent, your only caretaker, wished you didn't exist so they could focus all their time and attention on their partner. Isabella could also see how his back injury would have gotten him all worked up and worried about the possibility that one day he himself might become that burden.

“As a couple?” she asked.