Page 67 of Find Me in California

Matty proposed a plan. Liza was under the care of an excellent physician. From his viewpoint, him staying or leaving wouldn’t affectthe pregnancy. The state of their marriage wouldn’t prevent him from being a good father. As much as he didn’t want to be married to Liza, he wanted to be involved in their daughter’s life. But it wasn’t fair of him to stick around if he didn’t love her. So he would move out, and he wanted me to go with him.

I wasn’t entirely sure about the idea. I had a job. We both had reputations Liza could ruin if she found out about us. But I couldn’t deny my love for Matty. It pained me to see him so torn. He had a colleague who had an empty apartment he was willing to rent to Matty until he found a place to buy. I’d go live with him there. In fact, we agreed the sooner we moved out, the better. He had a full schedule at the studio the following day, but he’d pick me up in the evening and off we’d go.

After Matty left, I spent the evening packing, but I didn’t have the heart to visit Liza when she called me up to the house the next morning. So I wrote her a goodbye letter, begging her forgiveness for abandoning her before the baby came. I stopped short of apologizing about Matty. She’d find out about us sooner or later, and I knew that her forgiveness would be nothing short of a miracle. I also believed I didn’t deserve it. Then I passed the time cleaning the studio, scrubbing it from top to bottom.

The hours crawled slowly, and when the time came and went for Matty to come get me, I worried that he’d changed his mind. I kept looking up at the big house, expecting to see both him and Liza in the windows. But I saw no sign of either of them. Just as I was about to fix myself tea to relax my nerves, there was an urgent knock on the door.

“Ms. Blu, it’s Sally. Are you in there? Ms. Blu, open the door!”

I rushed to answer, my immediate thoughts going to Liza and the baby. “Is Liza all right?” I asked when I swung open the door. “The baby?”

“It’s Mr. Holloway. Quickly, you must come.”

A thousand questions tumbled through my mind as I raced up to the house with Sally. Did he need help with Liza? Was he intoxicated and Sally needed my help to get him under control? I followed herthrough the back door, where Liza’s anguished wail slammed into me. All thoughts of Matty burst apart like balls on a billiard table.

“The baby!” Sally yelled, startled.

I looked wildly around. “Where is she?”

“Upstairs.”

I chased after Sally to the second floor and down the hallway to the room Liza and Matty shared. Liza was bent over an armchair. Heaving sobs tore from her diaphragm. Her face contorted in pain.

“Mrs. Holloway! What are you doing out of bed?” Sally hurried to Liza and beckoned me over.

Liza collapsed against me. “Oh, Mags,” she cried.

“What’s wrong? What can I do?” I met Sally’s panic-stricken face. She shook her head.

“Please, Mrs. Holloway,” Sally begged. “Come back to bed.”

“No,” Liza cried. “Not this bed.”

“Think of the baby,” I said, trying to coax her to lie down, but she resisted.

“I can’t sleep here. Not without him.”

I looked at Sally again for some sort of explanation.

“It’s Mr. Holloway. The police were just here.”

Unease sliced through me. “Was he hurt on set?”

Sally did that pitiful shake of her head again, and this time fear punctured my chest. “What happened to Matty?” I asked her and looked to Liza. “What happened to him?”

“He’s gone,” Liza wailed.

“What do you mean, ‘gone’?”

“He’s dead, Ms. Blu. Car accident. He was speeding home and ran into a tree about a mile from here.”

Sally could have pushed me down the stairs and it would have hurt less than her words. I felt my knees buckle under Liza’s weight.

Sally watched me closely, Liza clinging to us both, and I swallowed, and then I swallowed again. Sally knew about us, I realized, me and Matty, and she wasn’t saying a word. I wanted to scream. I wanted toshatter every glass perfume bottle and vase in the room. Matty was gone. Dead. I would never feel his arms around me again. I’d never feel his lips on mine again. But I had no right to mourn, not at that moment. I wasn’t his wife, and Liza needed me.

I inhaled an unsteady breath.

“Will you be all right, Ms. Blu?” Sally asked tepidly, missing nothing.

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