Page 65 of Find Me in California

The only sign Liza gives that she heard is a slight bobble of the deck. A card slides across the table. Julia sends it back.

Liza tucks the card into the deck. “Do you know how to play gin rummy?”

“What? Yes.”

“Then sit.”

Julia hooks her bag onto the chairback and takes a seat. Liza deals ten cards each and positions the partial deck between them, flipping the top card to the side, face up. Julia sorts her cards into sets and potential runs. “I heard you’re leaving us tomorrow.”

“Mm-hmm.” Liza moves her cards around. “You have first move.”

Julia selects a card from the deck, the ten of hearts, and adds it to her set of tens. She discards a five. “I’m sorry Matt isn’t going to make it. I tried to convince him, but he seems set on not coming.”

Liza selects a card from the stack and discards another. “I see he’s been talking toyou.”

“Yes, we’ve had several calls. But, Liza, he’s your grandson. He should be here. The state shouldn’t have had to intercede.”

“But you did.”

She deflates, thinking of the boxes. “I did. I’ll arrange for the boxes to be forwarded to your new address.”

“Don’t bother. The next time you speak with Matt, you can tell him it wasn’t my idea to appoint him as my secondary. I’m sure he’s wondering about that.”

“Then why did you? Why get him involved at all?”

“Adam suggested him. And—”

“You want to reconcile?” Julia interrupts, hopeful. Maybe apologize for neglecting him? He was only a child.

Liza’s mouth pinches. She looks at the cards on the table. “There was no one else but Matt.”

“Surely that’s not true. You had plenty of friends. Your garden parties—”

She dismisses Julia’s remarks with a curt wave. “Superficial, all of them. People didn’t come to my parties to be with me. They came because of what I could do for them. Hollywood is greedy. It was no different then than it is now.”

“Not everyone must have thought that.”

“I wouldn’t know. I didn’t—” Her eyes glass over before she blinks and shakes her head. “Never mind. It isn’t important.”

Julia is of the mind to disagree. Liza’s relationships might have ended because they were superficial, but from what she read in Mama Rose’s diary, she finds it difficult to believe they started that way. If Liza was anything like the woman she is today, she likely kept herself apart from others, erecting an unconscious barrier between them and herself. Losing a husband, a daughter, friends like Mama Rose, not to mention the multiple miscarriages Julia read about, all had to have taken their toll. Loss of that magnitude changes the very core of a person. This revelation gives Julia new insight into Liza and Matt’s estrangement, although she can’t be sure it’s accurate. Liza’s disregard for Matt’s emotional state when he came to live with her might have had less to do with her indifference toward him and more to do with her incapability to open herself up to love after losing so many. Much in the way Matt explained himself to Julia.

Liza selects a card and re-sorts her hand. “Why do you care what happens to me, Julia? Do you enjoy tormenting me by dredging up the past with your curiosity?”

“I—No, I don’t mean to. But if I may bother you with one more thing, I’ll get out of your hair.” Julia folds her cards and rests her hand face down. She retrieves the Magnolia Blu diary from her bag and puts the book on the table, her palm on the cover. Her heart races in her throat, recalling what she read last night. “Have you known all this time who I am?”

Liza’s hands tremble. She sets down her cards and coolly glances away. “Magnolia isn’t the only one who lied.”

“What do you mean?”

Liza turns back to her. The facade that always holds her face rigidly in place has fallen away, revealing a fragility hidden underneath. “Matty still wanted to divorce me despite the baby. I threatened to use my connections so that he’d never get another movie deal. I threatened to ruin him. He was unfazed. He was still going to leave me. Unbeknownst to me, he’d planned to leave Hollywood before he met Magnolia.Season of the Gods IIwould have been his last movie. Nothing I said or did could convince him otherwise.”

“I’m sorry for everything,” Julia says. “I know my grandmother regrets the role she played.”

“That’s because of me. I let her believe she was responsible for everything that had gone wrong in my marriage. Don’t get me wrong, she did play a part in its demise. But I was as much at fault.” Liza gathers up the cards, finished with the game and, apparently, their conversation. Cool eyes drop to the diary under Julia’s hand. “I’ll read Ruby’s letter, but I make no promises it’ll change how I feel about her.”

Julia pushes the book to Liza’s side with an air of accomplishment and relief. She’s fulfilled what she believes is one part of Mama Rose’s request, that Liza read the final entry, the letter Mama Rose wrote to her. “That’s all I ask. Thank you.” She rises to leave. It’s late, and Liza has yet to answer Julia’s question about whether she knew who Julia is—it would explain why Liza barely tolerated her company—but she doesn’t want to deter Liza from reading the diary by asking her again and pushing for an answer. She’ll try tomorrow when she returns for the diary.

Liza snatches her wrist, stopping her. “There’s more.”

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