Page 103 of Find Me in California

“I’m okay,” a woman says, breathless. A hand appears on the boy-man’s shoulder, and then the woman—her mother—is there. Dressed in a pale linen pantsuit and heels, she looks exactly like her professional photo online. Better, even. Healthy. The woman who dumped her on Mama Rose’s doorstep had been filthy and strung out, unnaturally thin from a poor diet of handouts and drugs. That had been Julia’s last impression of her mom.

Now, she looks like a mom, as well as a professional, and a business leader, and the doer and achiever Julia has read about, with Matty Holloway’s features and Magnolia Blu’s frame. She’s beautiful.

Lea’s chin quivers, her eyes buzzing over Julia’s appearance as Julia tries her best to put on a brave face. “Julia?”

“I have news about Mama Rose. Your mom, Grandma Ruby,” she clarifies, when her mom just stares at her. The boy-man is gawking at her too.

“You’re really Julia?” he asks.

She looks at him, surprised. “You know who I am?”

“I’ve known about you my whole life.”

Lea shakes off her shock. “Both my sons know about you; so does my husband.”

Her half brother grins. “’Bout time you showed up. We’ve been dying to meet you.”

Julia’s gaze darts between the mother and son.

“I know what you must be thinking,” Lea starts.

“What am I thinking?” Julia snaps back. Her brothers have known about her? Nobody bothered to include her in their little family? Did they find it funny leaving her to care for Mama Rose on her own?

“Come in, please.” Lea gestures Julia inside. “You must have so many questions, and I’ll answer all of them. But you obviously came here for a reason, so let’s address that first. Kit, go find your brother. I’ll call you boys down soon enough, but give Julia and I a chance to talk.”

“Nico, you’re never going to guess who’s here,” Kit shouts, running up the stairs.

“Sorry about that. Can I get you anything? Coffee, water?”

“I’m fine, thanks.”

Lea leads her into a sitting area that shouts Restoration Hardware. They settle across from each other on a pair of couches framed by a large fireplace on one end and an opening into the dining room, which looks out into the backyard. Lea doesn’t waste a moment. “Mom?” she clears her throat. “Your grandmother?”

“Cardiac arrest. Last week,” Julia says with as little emotion as she can manage, just as she practiced a dozen times. “She passed in her sleep.”

Lea studies her before abruptly turning away. She looks out the window into the back, then down at her hands clasped tightly in her lap. She doesn’t say anything for at least a minute, and then she releases a shuddering breath. She swipes a finger under her eye and looks at Julia square on. Her eyes are glassy. “I am sorry for your loss.”

“She was your mother.” Julia’s tone is abrupt, and Lea flinches.

“She was. She and I ... She was more of a mother to you than I ever could have been.”

Julia’s eyes dart past the family portrait on the wall she doesn’t dare look at toward the stairs. “You could have fooled me.”

“I was in a different place when I had you.”

“And since then? It never occurred to you to try again with me? Did you ever think of me?” The questions fire out of Julia. This isn’thow she intended this meeting to go. But all the despair from Mama Rose’s death, and the longing she kept bottled for years for the sake of her grandmother’s feelings, come pouring out.

“Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you. Not. One. Day.”

“I don’t believe you.” Julia’s chin quivers like a petulant child’s.

She looks down at her lap to collect herself when she’d rather scream at her mom. Does Lea know how hard it was watching Mama Rose deteriorate? Does she know how lonely Julia’s been, how inadequate she’s felt? Does she have any idea how much Julia has sacrificed for the sake ofhermother? But her sons are upstairs, and as contorted as Julia’s reasoning might be, she doesn’t want twenty-seven years of uncorked rage to be her brothers’ first impression of her.

She wants them to know that she’s strong and brave and has survived on her own. That without her mother—their mother—she still grew into a kind, compassionate, and decent person.

“I returned for you on several occasions.”

Julia shakes her head. “I don’t believe you.” That would mean Mama Rose lied to her. But that last thing Mama Rose said to her ...

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