Page 102 of Find Me in California

Last weekend might have been hell, and aspects of that psychedelic experience—one he cares not to repeat—may always remain a mystery to him, but there is one thing he’s certain of. Had he not seen Magnolia’s photo and heard her story, had Julia not been persistent with her concern, he never would have acknowledged that he needed to address his past trauma. Ignoring it was storing it, and doing so was impacting his life. Most especially, his relationships.

Matt might have forgotten about the photo, but his subconscious sure hadn’t. While the memory of Magnolia’s image had been buried deep, she was enough to trigger him to confront his grief.

Whoever said God works in mysterious ways wasn’t kidding. Matt would add that the human mind does the same.

“Thank you for this,” he says, thanking Kathy also for the coffee when he rises to leave.

“Don’t be a stranger,” she tells him before he goes.

“I won’t. I’ll be back.” One of these days he’ll be brave enough to take a boat out to the spot where his mother left him.

Until then, one step forward at a time.

One Week Later

CHAPTER 48

JULIA

Lea Hope lives in a four-bedroom, three-bathroom craftsman-style home with a pool and a professionally manicured yard in Culver City, where she and her husband of eighteen years are raising their two boys, aged sixteen and fourteen. Both boys play for the high school junior varsity football team and are honors students, while their parents comanage a residential real estate office downtown. Lea and her husband both drive Teslas, which they park in tandem on their driveway. By all appearances, everything about Julia’s mom is disgustingly perfect.

She wonders if her husband knows Lea had a baby before she married him. Do her sons know they have an older half sister?

Since she learned to search the internet, Julia has devoured all public information about her mom, from her real estate listings to her street address. She’s stalked her on social media. But she never tried to make contact. Two reasons: she didn’t want Mama Rose to think she wasn’t enough for Julia, and she was afraid her mom would reject her again.

Lea had ample time to come back for Julia. The fact she hadn’t told Julia everything she needed to know. Lea didn’t want Julia in her life.

Or so Julia had been led to believe by Mama Rose.

But now, after what her grandmother said to her, mistaking her for Lea, Julia isn’t so sure. Was it possible Lea hadn’t abandoned her?Could her last memories of her mom be wrong? They were those of a three-year-old child.

Either way, and at the risk of Lea’s indifference, Julia’s mother has a right to know her own mother has died.

Julia rings the doorbell and nervously straightens her blouse. She could have called Lea, but she wants to see her mom’s face when Lea hears Mama Rose is gone. Her reaction will be telling. Did she ever care? She wants her mom to hurt, and shamefully, Julia wants to hurt her, as much as she has been hurting.

Julia timed her arrival for right after the boys get home from their after-school activities and around when Lea would be starting dinner. It’s taken Julia a week to work up the courage to come. She spent just as long mapping out Lea’s schedule and route home from the office to make sure she came by at a time that her mother would be here.

When nobody comes to the door, Julia glances at the driveway, wondering if she miscalculated. One Tesla is there, her mom’s. She should be home.

Julia rings the bell again, and this time a voice bellows, “Coming.” It’s followed by the sound of heavy feet running down a staircase and the front door swinging open. Julia involuntarily backs up at the sight of her half brother. His eyes narrow and he blurts, “We already have solar.”

Julia barks a laugh. She wondered what kind of greeting she’d get. That was not what she’d imagined.

She takes in the unfamiliar yet familiar sight of this boy-man with floppy hair and acne, feeling a flutter in her chest as her heart rate quickens. He’s built solidly, with broad shoulders under a loose, worn-out T-shirt and thick thighs filling the legs of his board shorts. And his eyes, his cheekbones ... He resembles his grandfather, Matthew Holloway. Julia has spent the week digging into his history too. She even brought herself to watch a few of his old movies.

Her half brother starts to close the door on her, and she quickly finds her voice. “Not selling solar. Is your mom home?”

“Who’s asking?”

“Julia Hope.”

The door opens wide again, as do his eyes. He drags his gaze up and down her. He then looks askance at her and yells, “Mom! Julia’s here!”

From within the belly of the house, Julia hears a crash. The boy-man doesn’t leave the door. “You okay?” he yells into the house.

There isn’t an answer, and he hesitates. Julia’s nerves prickle. Why would he shout her name through the house like that? He can’t know who she is.

“Ah, one sec.” He starts to close the door again when the click-clack of heels approaches.

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