“He doesn’t want anything tying him down, especially this place,” Ivy answers for him.
“I thought you liked it here,” Shiloh says.
His brows pull together. “When did I ever say that?”
“You didn’t. Just a feeling.”
Lucas grunts, unable to pinpoint exactly what he’s done or said to give her that impression.
“Well, it’s a done deal,” Ivy says with finality. “You’ll meet her tomorrow when you install the ceiling fans in her apartment.”
He would have done the installation today if he hadn’t spent his lunch cleaning his toilet.
Ivy reaches for the bowl in the center of the table. “Salad, anyone?”
Lucas and Shiloh both make faces.
22
After dinner, Lucas and Shiloh help Ivy clean up. When Shiloh excuses herself to use the bathroom, Ivy pulls Lucas aside.
“Shiloh is a wonderful girl. After what she told me about her mother...” Ivy shakes her head. “I can’t imagine what she’s been through.”
He grunts, drying a pot Ivy just washed.
“Was your sister always like that, into drugs and men?”
“Not always.” His gaze slings to the side, guilt tightening his chest. Lying to Ivy has never been easy. He wants to tell her about Olivia. She’s gorgeous and kind, but a hard-ass. He wishes he could tell her something about Lily, wishes he actually knew his sister and hadn’t let her run away. But doing so would expose his history, and his shame about his past is as great as his fear of being arrested again, which would surely happen if Ivy knew the truth about him.
“Well, for what it’s worth”—Ivy soaks a casserole dish in water—“Shiloh is lucky to have you.”
“About that,” Lucas starts, clearing his throat. He sets the damp towel on the counter, his misgivings about Shiloh living in his apartment returning. “Would it be possible if she stayed with you?”
“Whatever for?” Ivy looks at him, clearly surprised by his request.
“You’ve seen my place. It’s a bachelor’s pad.” Worse. “It’s no place for teenage girl. I can’t cook.” And he drinks far too much. Besides, the time will come when he runs, and when it does, he can leave Shiloh behind with an inkling of hope she’ll be looked after.
Ivy dries her hands and turns to him. “I know what you’re doing, Lucas.”
He shifts with unease. “What’s that?”
“You’re doubting yourself again.”
He frowns, forgetting how easily Ivy can read him. She did it the night he arrived. She didn’t ask questions and she didn’t pry. But she did sit with him, sharing stories about her life with Tom through a better part of the night. He knows she stayed with him because she sensed he shouldn’t be left alone.
She presses her palms to his cheeks. It takes everything in him not to jerk his head and slam into the fridge behind him. He focuses on her smile. Kind and warm and trusting, making him hate himself more because he isn’t being honest.
“That girl needs you, Lucas. She needs a male role model in her life. Someone guiding her to make the right decisions. You might not think it, but you’re a good man.”
He shakes his head. “No, I’m not. You don’t know me. You don’t know what I’ve done.” He gives in to some of the pressure that’s building inside him, feeling like he owes her that much.
“Why do you believe you’re so terrible?”
His jaw tics.
“Lucas,” she pushes.
And she’ll keep pushing if he doesn’t elaborate. Which he should. She needs to understand why it’s wrong for Shiloh to stay with him.