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“What have I told you, honey? It’s not nice to point.” Her expression wary, the mother shoots him a look of warning not to mess with her or her child. She moves to stand between him and the squirt in a skirt as if he’s a predator.

He scowls, returning to his truck, and searches through the center console for his bottle of clonazepam. He pops the chill pill and washesit down with a mouthful of tepid water from a plastic bottle the experts say will give him cancer. Like he gives a shit.

The toddler watches him through the window. He guns the engine, stopping short of laying on the horn. The toddler clamps her hands over her ears and screams, rattling his own ears. Holy hell, she’s got lungs. The mother’s face turns as red as his grandmother’s cooked beets and she yells at him. He can’t hear what she’s saying over the noise of his truck and her daughter’s shrieks, but he’s sure it isn’t nice.

Shifting into gear, he yanks the truck away from the curb and heads back to work.

CHAPTER 9

Olivia watches Lucas and Josh with interest through the living room window. When Lily ran away, Olivia called Lucas. Had he seen Lily with Ethan? Did Ethan ever come by the house? Did he know he was seeing Lily? And what happened the night she ran away? Had she been planning to run? Did Ethan sway her to leave when their parents forced Lily to choose between an abortion or adoption?

Lucas hadn’t seen them together. Ethan never visited. He wasn’t there the night Lily left, and he didn’t know if she’d been planning to run. He’s not a mind reader. He also didn’t know where she went and he didn’t care.

Olivia told herself she didn’t care either. Dwight blindsided her with the news, that was all. How did she not see this coming? But what equally baffled her was Lucas’s indifference. He wouldn’t agree to keep her posted on what was happening at home, or the leads Dwight and Charlotte had on Lily’s whereabouts. Lily wanted to keep the baby. Let her.

She chews a hangnail on her thumb. What are they talking about that’s keeping Josh rooted to the porch? He’d been ready to bolt. She saw the wild look in his eyes when he fled the kitchen. If it weren’t for Lucas, Josh would have been around the corner by now, swallowed up by traffic, trees, and retail stores. They would have lost him before she could get her keys and start the car, which would make everything about this situation easier. It would be like he was never here.

But then she’d never find out why he came. They might not find Lily without him.

Ifshe’s still alive.

Lucas holds his phone so Josh can see the screen. The living room window is open, and she hears Josh’s occasional laugh, a name drop from Lucas, and a description of a project he’s been working on. He even smiles at one point, though on him it’s more of a sneer.

Lucas has rarely smiled since his junior year in high school. Seeing a hint of the one he gives Josh is monumental. Flashes of the vibrant, talented little brother always pranking them and looking for laughs come into focus. He taped Blaze’s hand to his forehead while he slept, keeping her in giggles for most of the morning. The tape left a red mark just under Blaze’s hairline. Lucas stuck a rubber snake in Tyler’s shoes left outside. Olivia can still hear Tyler’s scream when he stuck his foot in his shoe and Lily’s laughter when they realized it was fake.

Lily was the only one who escaped Lucas’s pranks. He protected that girl better than a left tackle protected his quarterback’s blind side.

Longing tweaks the muscles in her chest, tightens the skin around her eyes.

She wants that little brother back, unburdened of the hand life dealt him. He should have been an architect. He should have played football at a PAC 12 university. He should have completed high school magna cum laude as a first-string tight end. And Lily should have completed high school and gone off to college. She would have studied art and design and competed on the swim team. Olivia is sure she would have earned a full-ride scholarship, she was that good. But at some point near the holidays, Lily’s life intersected with Ethan’s, and Olivia’s twenty-one-year-old boyfriend slept with her sixteen-year-old sister, and she took off with their baby.

She promised Lucas she’d call Ethan, dreading that she must. First, she needs to locate his number.

Her phone pings with an incoming text, startling her. Blaze. Again. Talk about déjà vu. Is he going to pester her like he did last time?

After their breakup in high school, he’d wait for her by her locker in between classes. He’d lean against her car after school at the risk of getting kicked off the soccer team, just for the chance to talk to her. She wasn’t replying to his emails or returning his calls.

She deletes Blaze’s text without opening the message and calls Amber. Her friend’s perky nose and curly hair lights her screen.

Olivia paces away from the window. “Hey,” she says when Amber picks up.

“I was going to call you. How’d it go last night with Josh? Did you find out why he’s there?”

“No. He doesn’t talk much,” she says, turning back to the window. Lucas and Josh carry on their one-sided conversation. Lucas talks and gestures. Josh smiles and nods. He isn’t the easiest kid to talk to, but Lucas makes it look easy. “He doesn’t have a phone on him and he can’t tell me her number; otherwise I would have already called Lily.” She briefly explains Josh’s challenge with words and numbers.

“What about his backpack? Does he have a wallet?”

“That did cross my mind. Lucas is here. He’s talking with Josh. He might find out something. Hey, do you know what Ethan’s been up to?”

“Ethan Miller, your ex? I don’t, why? Oh, wait. He’s Josh’s dad. Are you planning to call him?”

“I’m concerned about Josh’s medical issues. He should be with his dad, don’t you think?”

“But he came to you. I can ask Mike to look at him. He’s asleep at the moment and has another shift tonight, but I’ll ask him to call you when he gets the chance.”

“Thanks, I appreciate that.” She’d feel better knowing what she’s dealing with. Should she be worried about his condition worsening? “I still want Ethan’s help with Josh.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Liv. What if he’s never met Josh? What if Lily and Ethan didn’t keep in touch after she ran away? Josh might not know who his dad is. Or Lily told him someone else is his dad? What if she’s married and that guy adopted Josh?”

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