Page 63 of Everything We Left Behind

I rapidly flipped the paper, skimming the words I’d written down at some point during the night. I’d used the entire pad. Nausea rose swiftly, followed by a wave of light-headedness. I sank onto the bed edge and swore. “This is why Thomas had to tell me about my ID in person.” I waved the pad in the air. Paper rustled, fanning with the movement. “He wanted me to come to him and he was ready for me. The bastard had me hypnotized.”

I tossed aside my notes and shot to my feet.

Thomas was my brother. He was also my sons’ uncle. A man they’d be exposed to should my screwed-up head figure out how to fix itself. Because James would want to return to California.

I paced to the window. The sun was already three-quarters across the sky. My gaze shot to the clock by the bed. 3:45 p.m. I’d slept away the day.

“Now do you see why I want you to be their guardian?”

“Carlos—” she started.

“Doyouwant Julian and Marcus exposed to people like that?” I gestured wildly at the notepad.

“Of course not.”

“They will be. That’s the family they’ll celebrate their holidays with. That’s who they’ll spend their summer breaks with. That’s who will wantmysons working for their business.”

“You don’t know that.”

“That’s James’s fucking family, Nat.Myfamily.” I smacked my chest.

I shoveled both hands into my hair and gripped tight. My gaze zigzagged from Natalya to the clock, and then to the notepad before coming to a skidding halt at the closet. I stomped across the room and hauled out my suitcase. In the bathroom, I gathered up my belongings and dumped them inside.

“What’re you doing?”

“Packing. I’m going home.” Then I remembered that I reeked.

“Carlos?”

I picked out clean clothes, grabbed my toiletries again, and went to the bathroom.

“Carlos!”

“What?” I snapped from the doorway.

Her cheeks took on a rosy hue. “There’s more going on here, Carlos,” she said firmly. “About your feelings and the way you feel about James and the Donato family.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your reaction toward them is fierce.”

“It’s warranted, Nat. My brother had me hypnotized against my will.”

“Yes, I understand why you despise him. But when it comes to your sons, you have this primal need to keep them safe.”

“That’s part of being human, and my being a father.”

“Not every father feels the same. Otherwise there’d be a lot fewer cases of child abuse and neglect in the world today.”

I shifted my clothes under my arm. “What are you getting at?”

“Has it occurred to you James felt the same way about his family as you do? His oldest brother nearly raped his fiancée. You’ve told me about the dreams you used to have of Aimee before you knew who she was, and the terror you felt about not being able to protect her. Don’t leave until you learn about James. Because if you used to be anything like the man you are today, and I have to believe you are, James will give up his own life keeping Julian and Marcus safe.”

CHAPTER 19

JAMES

Present Day

---