Page 7 of Not My Fault

“Do I have to meet up with all of them?” I grimace as I put the hot waffles on a plate and pour a small amount of syrup over them.

“No, well…What if you like, speed dated them? You can see what each one has to offer and then say no.”

“Fine. I actually like that idea. I’ll let Viv know.” I sigh.

“I know this isn’t what you want, but if you let them do this, then you can focus on what you want. Which we both know is singing.” Georgie joins me on the couch.

“You’re right. I just haven’t touched my song book in months, and the label is on my back to write for the new album, but it’s hard when I have no spare moments. Now I’m going to have even less to fix something that isn’t broken?”

“Who knows, maybe you’ll end up meeting the love of your life,” Georgie teases.

“You’ve been reading too many of those romance novels.” I shake my head.

“Fake dating to lovers is one of the most common tropes. All that pretending blurs the lines and people don’t know how to feel.” She shrugs with a smile.

“So why aren’t you out fake dating someone?”

“I’m trying. If you meet a man I’d like, send them my way.” She groans.

Songwriting used to come so easily to me. I’d have a thought or a feeling and the words would flow. But now, with the anticipation of it being picked apart by fans and the label, it’s daunting. I don’t want people to think I’m a one-album wonder, but I also don’t want my second album to flop. I know I need to get out of my head about it, but that’s easier said than done.

Maybe once everything is taken care of with this stuff, I’ll have a better handle on where to start. It doesn’t help that I’m constantly working or thinking about working. I don’t have time to eat some days, let alone think. I don’t know what I’m feeling because I never have the chance to ponder it for more than a moment. At least I made time this week to get a new tattoo. If I didn’t schedule that like, weeks in advance, it would never happen. It’s my me-time and almost a therapy session where I felt like I can breathe again.

My tattoo artist, River, and I met almost a year ago when she reached out begging for me to play her girlfriend’s birthday party. It was such a sweet sentiment that I never got, and I knew I had to say yes. And I’m glad that I did. She’s a talented artist,and we’ve kept in touch since. She did a tattoo of the middle finger by my hip bone that came out adorable. This time I’m going for a much bigger chest piece, and I know she’s going to knock it out of the park. She sent me sketches and I’m already in love. Hopefully it won’t hurt as much as I think it will. I can handle the pain okay, but it would be a lot longer of a session that before. I have to go after-hours so no one will recognize me either.

I decide to text Viv that I’m in for meeting the influencers she thinks would be a good match. She texts back immediately, telling me I won’t regret it. But suddenly I have a huge knot in my stomach.

FOUR

Gus

“If you kiss me like that again, I’m going to be late for my meeting.” Cari blushes as I kiss her neck. Her blonde curls are a mess from last night, but I can’t keep my lips off her.

“So? Skip it.” I don’t know who I am, because I am never someone to consider skipping work.

“I can’t.” She moans softly as I bite her earlobe. “Fuck,Gus.”

“We could spend the whole day in bed, or on other surfaces...” I stop talking to kiss down her cheek in a line for her pink, pouty lips.

“I wish I could, but this is an important meeting.” She sighs and gets off the bed.

I fall into her pillows and look up at her as she shakes out her hair and pulls it into a bun. Cari saunters around the room naked, her curves and body on display. She’s confident in everything she does, which is what drew me to her. She finds a dress to wear and places the hanger on the back of her door. She ties a silk blue robe around her waist and looks back at me.

“I don’t want to kick you out, but I do have to shower before this meeting.” She looks at me with her big blue eyes.

“What if we shower together?”

“I wish, but I’m running late since someone didn’t remind me to set the alarm,” she teases.

“Okay, what about tonight? We could go see that new scary movie you wanted to watch?” I suggest.

Her face twists; it’s subtle. The curl of her lip and the way her eyebrows narrow, just before changing into a neutral expression.

“I can’t tonight, I’m seeing?—”

I cut her off. “Got it.”

Cari sighs and I know I’ve probably said the wrong thing, but I hate knowing she’s going out with Max. I’m jealous as can be, and it’s stupid because I have no right to be. I just don’t have it in me to fight her on it and demand more. If she wants more, I want it to be her idea, not something that’s forced upon her. I grab my clothes from the floor and start getting dressed.

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