Page 39 of Not My Fault

“You look beautiful.”

“I swear I’ve showered since I’ve seen you. But my hair had so much gunk from the show, and I didn’t have the muscle strength to clean it, so I’ve left it.” She groans.

“You’re totally fine. I’m not worried about your hair, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

NINETEEN

Emily

Ifeel like shit until the moment Gus looks at me. The way their face changes as I walk into the room is enough to induce butterflies. I know I look like shit; I saw myself in the mirror just now. But Gus is looking at me like I just walked off a runway, and I’m flattered. Georgie is gone for work, and I don’t want to sleep the whole day away. I’ll eventually have to get back in a routine, so I figure waking up for breakfast was a good first step.

“I got you gluten-free bagels. They’re on the counter. Do you want me to make you one?” Gus asks, standing.

“Nah, I can do it.” I wave them off and make my way into the kitchen. The floor is cold on my bare feet, but I have slippers around here somewhere.

“Georgie said you might want tea, but then didn’t show me where it is.”

“I can get that too, I swear. I am fine, just tired, but I’m not going to pass out or anything. They said that was a fluke and I don’t need anyone waiting on me,” I say firmly.

“Okay.” Gus nods and takes a seat at the couch again.

“What is it?” I ask Gus, noticing the small basket next to the bag of bagels.

“Oh, my friends were worried about you, they asked me to bring it.”

“What’s in it?” I peek inside to see what it is.

“A spa treatment gift card, a romance novel about lesbians, some lotions and face masks, and a gift card for DoorDash. They didn’t know what you like to eat but wanted you to be able to get food,” they say.

“Wow, that’s so kind.”

I glance at the table full of gift baskets. Most are from my team and the label, all hoping I get better soon. They’re generic, clearly pre-packaged baskets that took longer to add their credit card numbers in than pick what I’d actually like and use. How did Gus’s friends, who met me all of one time, know me better than people who are around me all the time? Even Viv’s basket has a box of cookies and crackers that aren’t gluten-free. Something I know she knows about me but doesn’t bother to worry about. My eyes start to water.

“Shit, are you okay?” Gus rushes to my side and hands me the box of tissues.

“I’m sorry, it’s just your friends are so kind. And you too, like you remembered I’m gluten free and went out of your way to get me bagels I can actually eat. It’s a small gesture but it really means a lot. I have Georgie, but besides that there isn’t anyone else going out of their way for me unless they’re hired to.” I sob lightly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Gus pulls me in for a hug. Not too tight to squeeze me, but they hold me firmly against them. They rub my back with one hand and hold the back of my head with the other.

“I’m sorry. I’ve been a little emotional about all this,” I admit. I was terrified that I actually passed out on my own.

“It’s completely understandable,” Gus whispers.

I let it out into Gus’s chest, sobbing lightly until I feel better. Gus rubs my back and stays quiet until I pull away. We both look at Gus’s chest, wet from my tears.

“Guess I gotta wash my shirt, unless you need it tonight for a tissue?” Gus teases and I laugh. I know they don’t care about the shirt and are happy to have helped.

“Maybe I will take you up on that help. Can you toast me a bagel while I shower? I think I wanna wash my hair.” I sigh.

“Of course. Just take your phone in case you need help,” Gus says, and I nod.

I head to the bathroom, strip down to nothing, and turn on the water. I turn it all the way up so there’s steam invading the entire room. The bathroom door is cracked in case I get dizzy or need help. Not that I want Gus seeing me naked for the first time to be like this. Not that I think about Gus seeing me… suddenly I feel flushed. Why am I having dirty thoughts about Gus? I know where the two of us stand. Yet the way they look at me and held me, not to mention that kiss?

I slide into the shower and close the curtain behind me. I hesitate only for a second and slip my hand down my center. Brushing my fingers over my clit, I can feel how it’s already sensitive and swollen. My fingers slip further down my folds and are soaked instantly. Damn, there is no hiding what Gus does to me. But this is fine; it will stay between me and the shower. As long as I’m quiet. Although the thought of Gus hearing me and joining me in here do add fuel to the fire. I mean, how could it not?

My nipples harden as the water hits them, and I close my eyes and relax. My fingers dance across my clit and I bite down on my lip to hold back a moan. The feel of Gus’s lips on my body plays in my head. Their body pulled against mine, the friction and tension driving us wild. I can feel my orgasm building and just as it does, I also start to feel dizzy. My hand snaps backas my eyes shoot open. The last thing I want is Gus finding me naked and passed out from an orgasm about them. Talk about mortifying. I don’t think I’d ever recover from something like that. So although it leaves me unsatisfied, I finish my shower without finishing myself.

Scrubbing my head clean, I add extra leave-in conditioner. It will be a pain and a half brushing it, but I will manage. When I get out, I change into a pair of sweats and a crop top. I’m not forcing myself to wear a bra. It isn’t like Gus hasn’t seen my tits before. It just doesn’t help that every time I see them, my nipples get hard.

---