Page 35 of Not My Fault

“You don’t?” I ask, surprised.

“Yeah, I came here to talk to you about it. I know this is…not exactly… but I wanted to explain it. Cari was using me to make someone jealous. And truthfully, even if she wasn’t, I don’t want her anymore,” Gus says.

“Oh,” is all I manage to get out.

“You’re going to have to give me a little more, because I’ve been stressing out,” Gus says nervously.

“I mean, this isn’t, you know,real. So I understand if you want to go back to her. I just wasn’t expecting you to say you don’t want that,” I explain.

“Do you want this to be over?” Gus asks.

“What? No. I just thought you did so I didn’t want you feeling trapped or anything,” I say.

“I don’t feel trapped.”

“Okay, cool. I know you’ve sort of lost your motivation behind this, so if you want the money or anything just let me know,” I tell them.

“No, I’m still in this. And I don’t want the money.”

“Okay.”

“Em—”

“Sorry to interrupt, but we need to get you to the VIP meet and greet now,” one of Viv’s assistants says, opening the door slightly.

“Sure.” I nod and stand.

“We’ll talk later?” Gus asks.

“I’m probably going to be busy with work all night…”

The assistant interrupts, “Actually, Viv said I was supposed to get both of you. She said you have interviews in the green room afterward with the press.”

“Oh shit, yeah.” I nod. I had completely forgotten.

“I’ll be there,” Gus says, and I nod.

They follow me out of the dressing room, and we go down the hall to the VIP room with the assistant. I don’t want to do this tonight. I’m in a bitter mood after seeing Gus kiss someone else. I know I have no right, and I’m doing everything I can to deny it, but it’s clear I have feelings for them. Feelings I needed to bury deep down if I’m going to keep this fake relationship going. For the sake of my career, I can’t let my feelings get in the way. It’s what is best for everyone. Gus and I are just friends faking it.

I put on a face as I greet everyone in the VIP room. It’s mainly Gus’s friends and a handful of actual fans, and I don’t have to fake it with the latter. They genuinely make me happy; I mean, they are the reason I have a career. I take photos, sign things, and answer questions. Two girls even ask me to write lyrics on their arm that Gus is going to tattoo on them tomorrow. It doesn’t get more surreal than that.

When I get to seeing Gus’s friends again, I realize Cari is nowhere to be found. Thankfully, no one mentions it, and I don’t ask. I’ll have to find out everything from Georgie later. She was there and I know she will tell me the truth. As we slide through the end of the meet and greet, Gus and I are ushered into the green room. It’s basically a fancy conference room with an oval table filled with media types. Social media influencers, newspaper and magazine reporters, along with podcast hosts. Gus takes a seat next to me and takes my hand.

I see Viv in the corner reminding me to smile and pushing the questions in certain directions. She wants me to be in the press for more than my tits, which I understand, but a lot of this feels fake. It’s one thing for my relationship to be, but I hate not being able to be myself when it comes to answering questions for the press. I want my fans to see an authentic version of myself. So halfway through, I stop looking at her and start answering for myself. It feels more genuine and less rehearsed. I can tell Viv isfreaking out, and I might have to deal with the repercussions of that later, but for now I don’t care.

“That’s all the time we have folks.” Viv dismisses everyone and tells Gus and me to stay behind.

“What the hell was that?” Viv screeches as she shuts the door behind her.

“What?” I play stupid.

“You know what. Those were not the answers we went over,” she snaps.

“I wanted to be myself; I want my fans to see me. Not some watered-down version of me,” I say.

“That’s not what?—”

Gus cuts Viv off. “I’m sorry, but what’s the harm in that? Emily sounds like herself instead of some rehearsed bullshit version of herself. As a fan, it makes her seem more real.”

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