Page 33 of Not My Fault

“At least you know they can put up with your fans; those bitches are crazy.”

“Oh, they definitely can handle themselves.” I smile.

I think about earlier when we walked through Central Park with our disguises. No one suspected a thing, and we were both in hysterics anytime we looked at the other. Gus was my younger, hotter, boyfriend and I was the old lady he was clearly only boning for that paycheck. It was hysterical that we had given our disguises a backstory, but we played it up. When I pulled out my old lady voice, I thought he was going to lose it. I knew I had to commit to the bit; we weren’t trying to draw attention to ourselves, but I’m sure we probably looked crazy. Yet, I’ve never had more fun. It’s always like that when I’m with Gus. They are so easy to be with, laugh with, joke with. I know there was no need to have my guard up. They yell at people who bump into us and hold my hand when we cross the street. It’s simple, yet so fucking complicated at the same time.

AJ and the hair team finish with me, so I slip into my shoes for the show and drink a few sips of water. I’m not able to drinktoo much beforehand or I’ll have to pee. I get ready to go on, starting the show with my crowd pleaser. I can’t see much except the bright lights on me, but I can hear the crowd. It roars with excitement as it sees me, and I transform into LULY.

I’m singing the last line of my favorite song, one of my originals, and I glance toward the VIP section. It’s hard to see too far away from me but the lights move, and I look at the fans I don’t know. I find Gus’s friends, but my eyes search for the one person I want to see right now. I scan the small area until I see Gus being pulled by a blonde. Cari pulls them in for a kiss, and it takes everything in me to keep going. I know what this is; I have no place to be jealous. Yet the sight of Cari and Gus kissing, right in front of me, breaks me right in half.

SIXTEEN

Gus

“Are you kidding me? I didn’t know there were snacks here, I only get water backstage.” Georgie complains as they bring out a variety of popcorn, candy, hot appetizers, and drinks.

“Do you go to every show?” I ask.

“No, but most of them. It never gets boring; she’s just so talented.” She smiles.

River starts a conversation with Georgie, so I walk over to the table set up behind the seats that’s filled with snacks and drinks. I help myself to a cup of water as Cari comes up behind me. I can smell her vanilla perfume, one of the recognizable parts of her I can’t let go of. Cari picks up a bag of Skittles and tears it open with her teeth. She runs her tongue over her bottom lip, something I probably would’ve found sexy a few weeks ago but now I find anything but.

I hadn’t realized it until I saw her again today, but I think I’m over Cari. All the things I used to find irresistible about her are still there, but the feelings of desire no longer are. It’s like someone flipped that switch in my brain and in the place it was, there’s only Emily. I don’t care if Cari is jealous or if she’shanging out with Max later. The only thing I care about these days is if I’m going to see Emily later.

“So, I haven’t heard from you lately,” Cari says pouting at me. A look that normally makes me putty in her hands. Granted she’s still gorgeous; it just doesn’t make me feel anything anymore.

“I’ve been busy, with Emily,” I add for good measure.

“You know, that timeline you two are pushing doesn’t make much sense. I know for a fact you were with me for a lot of those months you were supposedly seeing her.”

“She and I weren’t official right away. You know, like how you were seeing Max and me at the same time,” I remind her. Cari’s face twists and her jaw locks tightly.

“Max! I didn’t think you’d make it!” Aspen says, making Cari and I twist around to see Max walking into the VIP space. They hold up their hand shyly and walk over to Aspen.

“Did you invite her?” Cari goes into accusatory mode.

“Do you think if I did, I’d be this surprised to see her?” I scoff. I don’t make a habit of bringing my ex’s ex places. But I can tell by the look on Cari’s face that she didn’t invite her either. I guess Aspen invited her; they’re best friends after all. I just wish someone had given me a heads up.

Max walks over to us, and I slide back into my seat before she can say anything. I have no problem with Max, but I’m not in the mood to be in the middle of any drama. Tonight is Emily’s big night, and I want to make sure we all respect that. The last thing she needs is to look over here mid-performance and see Max and me arguing or Cari and me fighting. I’m going to keep my head down as long as I can. Max and Cari seem to be getting into it but it’s all hushed, so I don’t really know what’s going on. Georgie and River shoot me the same look, which is ironic since they both don’t really know what’s going on. I just shrug; it isn’t like there’s anything else I can say.

The concert starts and there’s a band I don’t know the name of, but they have a really cool sound. River, Rae, Aspen, Isla and I are getting to know the fans that will be sitting in VIP with us. They have lanyards like us and a meet and greet pass for after the concert. When I introduce myself, two of them go silent as their eyes widen. They both slap the other on the arm and start screaming.

“OH MY GOD! YOU’RE AUGUSTUS! GUS! LULY’S PARTNER! WE’RE OBSESSED WITH YOU!” one of them says.

“Holy shit! You’re my background!” The other one says, pulling out their phone to show me proof. There’s a photo of Emily and me the first time we kissed as their background.

“Holy fuck, you’re famous,” Isla whispers in my ear.

“Can we get a photo with you? Our friends will be so jealous!” one of them asks.

“Uh, sure.” I nod. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that they have a photo of me and Emily as their background. It’s like we’re some kind of TV fantasy couple and have had strangers shipping us.

River takes some photos of us and hands the phone back to the girls. “So, how’d you become fans of Gus?”

“We’ve followed the romance from the beginning. LULY never dates, but when we saw Gus and LULY hugging outside the studio, we knew it was real. We have a tattoo appointment tomorrow to get her lyrics tattooed on us,” they say.

“We’re hoping she’ll write it on our arm so it can be in her handwriting,” the other says.

Holy shit, these girls are super fans. I’m a little afraid they might try to take my or Em’s blood. I’ll have to give security a signal not to leave us alone with them or something. Maybe they’re harmless, but I’m starting to air on the side of caution lately. Especially when it comes to Emily.

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