Page 26 of Not My Fault

“Yeah, it’s like a release. I can’t explain it more than that, but I always feel like a runner’s high after getting one.” She smiles.

“That’s how I feel too,” I admit.

“Who does your tattoos? It’s like a doctor needing to go to the doctor. It’s weird to ask that.” She laughs.

“I did a few of the ones I could reach, but otherwise River did a lot of them. She even recovered up a few I didn’t like that much.”

“Get an exes name?” Emily nudges me playfully.

“No, just some that didn’t age well or faded a lot already. I’m picky about what’s on my skin.”

“That makes sense.”

“What about you? How was your day?” I add, realizing I didn’t ask her.

“I had rehearsal for the shows this weekend. It was a lot of repeats of the last week. We’re perfecting everything by now, so it’s coming along,” she explains.

“Well, that’s good. I’m excited to see it all in person.” I smile.

“Did you ask the girl you like to come?”

“Cari? Yeah, I had River give her the ticket since they’re best friends. She texted a thank you and said she’ll be there.” I honestly forgot all about Cari tonight. She texted me earlier in the day and I don’t think I even bothered to respond. Lately it’s been like that. It’s like I suddenly forgot why I was working so hard to make things good between us.

“Oh, nice,” Emily says, but it doesn’t sound genuine.

I’m about to ask what’s going on with her when we’re overcome by a crowd with flashing lights and noise. I drop my ice cream, and Emily’s is knocked out of her hand. I immediately grab onto her free hand and try to pull her away from everything. It’s too chaotic for us to be in the middle of this.

“LULY!”

“LULY! LULY!”

“LULY’S GIRLFRIEND! LOOK HERE!”

“LOOK THIS WAY LULY!”

“SMILE!”

Bright flashes of light are all I can see for a moment while my eyes adjust. There are at least ten paparazzi taking photos of us at once. Emily grips my hand tighter, and I don’t let go. If I could see, I’d lead us out of here, but I’m not used to this sort of thing. There are people yelling her stage name, people shouting commands, and fans trying to get selfies in the middle of it all. It’s overwhelming to say the least.

“LULY! LULY’S GIRLFRIEND!”

“CAN WE SEE ANOTHER KISS?”

“TWO GIRLS KISSING IS HOT!”

I’m disgusted by the things they’re shouting at us, like they’ve somehow forgotten we’re real people. Is this something Emily deals with all the time? I can’t imagine trying to have a life if this is what comes with it. Why do people strive to be famous if this is the price you pay for it? Not to mention the fact that they are blatantly ignoring the fact that I’m nonbinary. I thought itwas obvious by my non-gender conforming outfits and the way I style my hair and bind my chest. But I guess it isn’t obvious if you don’t care to look for it. My eyes adjust to the lights, so I try to walk Emily away, but she stands still and looks toward the crowd of photographers.

“First of all, this is mypartner,Gus. They’re not my girlfriend; they use the pronouns they/them. And I’d appreciate it if you could remember that,” Emily says angrily. “Take photos all you want, but you won’t disrespect my partner by not respecting who they are.”

I’m used to being called a girl or people saying she when talking about me. It’s something I’ve learned to ignore; it’s usually easier than fighting with people. But no one I’ve ever dated has stood up for me like this. Making a point to bring up respect and correct them for me. I’m in awe. It’s such a small thing that truly means the world to me. Which is probably why I’m not responsible for what happens next.

I pull Emily’s body toward mine, letting my hands rest on her hips for just a second. I pull them away to grab her face and kiss her. For a split-second, Emily doesn’t move, shocked by the action. But then she moves her lips, and her tongue slips into my mouth. My cheeks heat up with the lights and the way she makes me feel. Her arms find their way around my neck, and I run my fingers through the strands of her blonde curls. I don’t know how long we kiss. Our lips never tire of each other’s, but eventually we pull back. Emily smiles, the corners of her mouth popping up with the pink hue of her cheeks. She’s as flushed as I am.

“Shows over, everyone fan out.” Emily starts waving everyone away and they actually listen this time.

I guess they’re all running home to be the first to publish that photo of us. I’m sure Emily and I will be making the headlines once again. But this time, it doesn’t seem so bad. There willbe no denying Emily and my relationship now that we’ve made it publicly official. Our lips are going to be everywhere, and although that was a little daunting, I don’t mind if we are together.

THIRTEEN

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