Page 97 of Where Happiness Begins

Getting lost in one’s eyes has never made more sense than it does now. It feels as if I’m in a trance, like I couldn’t move away even if the room were on fire. My hands are still on his face, the warmth of his cheeks reaching all the way through me, begging me to kiss him, just this once.

My lips part on his exhale, want clouding my thoughts. The clean smell of his soap makes me want to lean closer, to trace my nose against his neck, to taste his skin, his mouth.

I’m not sure how much time we spend like this, teetering on this tightrope, knowing we’re one movement away from falling into something else.

In the end, Carter pulls back first, rubbing a hand down his face, but even with the distance, the hunger doesn’t go anywhere.

For either of us.

Chapter 40

“Ineed you to tell me what to do.”

Finn looks up from where he’s piling some files on top of his desk in the small office he’s made for himself at Evermore farm, decorated with memorabilia from all the years he spent traveling, but also with dozens of pictures, mostly of him and Lexie together.

“Well, hello to you too.” He comes over to hug me, then smiles when he pulls back. “Looks like you’ve gained some color back.”

“Right.”

“Why do you make that face when you say that?” he asks, laughing.

I only answer with a groan.

Finn looks at me for a second, then as if realizing what I need, says, “Wanna go on a walk?”

“I have a party to go to.” Crash & Burn is having their “return home” concert at The Sparrow tonight, and I need to be there for them. “I just needed quick advice.”

“You can’t give your best friend in the world a ten-minute walk?”

“You’re a pain.”

He smirks as he puts his arm over my shoulder and leads me outside. “So I’ve been told.”

We start trudging through the forest that, in winter, resembles a true wonderland, but right now, as the farm is getting ready for its Halloween event, it looks more like something out of a scary movie. Scarecrows line the rows of trees and a haunted house is being set up in the barn next door.

We walk in silence, the chirps of crows and the crunch of pine needles under our boots filling the space. I love coming here, even when Finn isn’t there. It’s the most peaceful place on earth. Finn seems to be having the same train of thought as he looks around with a small smile. It’s why he and Lexie decided to get married here, after all. The place that became a shelter for both of them.

“So,” Finn says, interrupting our common reverie, “what’s up with you?”

I cross my arms, finding the words hard to utter even though I came here for this precise reason.

“This about Carter?”

Instead of agreeing, I say, “I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Who does?”

I give him a pointed look. “You do.” He might have found himself lost during his early twenties, but now, he has a job he loves, a wife he adores, and a clear path that is perfect for him.

“Well, I didn’t use to.” He nudges my shoulder. “The best’s coming for you too.”

I kick a pine nut. “I’m holding off on him. I want to go back to the way it was, but something’s holding me back.”

“You’re scared to get hurt.”

“Wouldn’t you be?”

He laughs, raw and loud. “Oh, I was. I fucking was.” His smile doesn’t go away as his mind seems to slip to a place of memories. “But taking that risk was the best decision I ever made.”

---