Page 83 of Where Happiness Begins
My brows furrow as I turn to Carter, but his expression is glacial and fixed on Zineb. His head moves slightly as if he’s shaking it at her.
“I don’t understand,” I say, still grinning. “Do you guys know each other?”
She opens her mouth, then closes it, making my heart rate skyrocket. Another wave of dizziness hits me, but I ignore it, looking between Zineb and Carter. I can’t tell what’s happening, but my stomach twists in a knot like my body knows something my mind doesn’t. I push myself so I’m sitting straighter.
“Can someone tell me what’s going on?” My smile fades. The air suddenly feels wrong in the room, syrupy and foul.
Finally, Zineb breaks the strange contact she had with Carter and clears her throat. “It, um, it was great seeing you again, Lilianne. I hope you feel better.” She doesn’t hug or even so much as glance at me as she leaves, looking like she’s come face to face with a ghost.
I spin to Carter, ignoring the throbbing in my head. “I don’t understand. Did you, like, date or something?” Zineb talked about her husband a few times and told me they’d been married for years, but I guess it could’ve happened at some point.
A muscle ticks in his jaw as he shakes his head once.
“Then what? Why was she being so weird?”
He doesn’t answer. His gaze doesn’t meet mine either.
“You’re starting to scare me,” I say, voice cracking as if I know that the other shoe I was waiting on to drop is finally there. “What’s going on?”
“Let this go, Lili. Please.”
My hands are shaking in my lap. My entire body, actually. Even my teeth chatter. “Tell me.”
He lets out one terribly long, terribly loaded breath, then his shoulders drop as if he’s been carrying a weight he’s finally laying down. When he meets my eyes, they’re shining. “I never meant for you to find out this way.”
I can’t move, can’t speak.
He goes to grab my hand, but I move it away, needing space to hear whatever he has to say. He swallows forcefully. “I knew your father, honey.”
The world turns silent except for the faint ringing in my ears.
I must have misheard him. Must have because there’s no way I’ve been lied to for the past six months.
Carter tries to touch me again, but when I move my entire body away from him, scurrying away like a hurt animal, he gives up. His hands crossed on the bed, eyes downturned, he says, “He was my AA sponsor.”
“No,” I whisper, only realizing once I hear it that I said it aloud.
“He was a good man. Agreatfucking man. He gave me my life back. I owe himeverything.” His voice becomes thicker as he rubs a hand over his stubbled jaw. “And… Fuck.” Clearly, whatever he’s trying to get out is even worse than all he’s just said, but still, nothing makes sense.
Until everything clicks into place.
Zineb. Carter. Dad.
I owe him everything.
He must see in my face the moment I realize the truth because his eyes fill as he watches me.
I push through the thickness in my throat to say, “Why does the transplant unit social worker know you, Carter?”
He doesn’t answer, which means even more than words could.
I shake my head, again and again, but I still can’t make myself believe it. This is not happening to me. The man I’ve fallen for hasn’t been lying to me this entire time. He hasn’t…
“Lilianne, I—”
“Your shirt.”
“What?”
