Page 44 of Where Happiness Begins
“Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me?” I never even thought to ask him where he used to live. Since we met so close to here, I assumed he was from the area too, but I should’ve thought it through. Carter works for a record label, and clearly, there are no record labels in the small towns of Vermont.
“Lilianne, it’s fine.”
“This makes no sense. You should go back to your place. We’ll keep up with the pretense another way.” Even as I say the words, they taste bitter in my mouth. As strange as it felt to have him in my space initially, I think it’d be hard to go back to the way it was. Waking up in a small space that finds a way to feel so incredibly vast. Losing the safety net I’ve started to feel when he’s around. Not being able to see his “kill me now” face every time it’s my turn to pick a movie to watch while we eat dinner—apparently, Mr. Carteronly likes movies when they have “great soundtracks or interesting acting.” Of course he couldn’t enjoy films for their plots like any normal human being. Just for that, when it’s my day, I always pick the most random movies I can think of, usually ones with terrible artistry that I still enjoy thoroughly.
“I don’t mind the drive.”
“Carter.” I stand straight, only realizing how close we are to each other when I feel his breath on my forehead.
His thumb lightly chucks my chin. “Lilianne,” he says in that infuriating way, never once having shortened my name. “I’m fine.”
“I don’t want you troubling yourself.”For me, I refrain from adding.
“I’m not.” His mouth ticks. “The company’s okay here.” Then, before I can react, he’s stepping backward with a stern, “We’re leaving in ten. Better get changed.”
I look down at my clothes, realizing I’m still in the Christmas pajamas I wear year-round, those that are a size too small but that I can’t get rid of because they’re too soft. Appropriate when I used to be alone in here, but maybe I should’ve thought twice about coming out in them today.
Except when I bring my attention back to Carter, it’s to find his eyes skimming me over. The shirt barely covers my stomach, leaving a slit of skin that he seems to have gotten stuck on. He’s only wearing jeans and a black T-shirt, and yet I feel naked next to him. I pull the hem down, breaking the strange trance he seemed to be in as if restarting normal speed after a slow-motion scene.
Carter looks back at the kitchen, studying something. “Meet you at the car.” Then he disappears down the stairs.
I remain in place for a long moment before rushing to get ready, wondering whether I imagined it all or not, and what it’d mean that I hoped it was real.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I ask as I shut the passenger door behind me.
The building Carter has parked in front of is in the older part of the city, and while it’s nothing fancy, the place looks well-kept, with four stories and a dark-brown brick exterior. Children are drawing shapes in the street with multicolored chalk, while an elderly couple is rocking in their chairs on one of the upper balconies.
Carter doesn’t move from his spot next to the car, staring.
“I’m coming in,” I end up saying.
“You don’t have to,” he says, which I translate toplease don’t come inside my place.
“If you thought I wouldn’t get my nosy ass into your stuff to discover all your deepest, darkest secrets, then you’re wrong,boo.”
His face loses some of its color, which only makes me grin. “Come on. Show me what Andrew Carter’s natural habitat looks like.” I start walking toward the building, and eventually, he has no choice but to follow.
“Less messy than yours, that’s for sure.”
I gasp audibly. “I’m not messy.”
He throws me a look.
“I’mnot,” I repeat as he opens the front door and leads us through an old but cozy lobby to the elevator. He presses the button and the doors automatically open.
We step inside. “Tell that to the hundred chocolate bar wrappers strewn all around the house,” he says.
“I like to snack. Sue me.”
He snickers, a side of his lips curling up, and just like the last time I saw his face light up with a smile, awhooshgoes through my chest.
“What about the socks you keep littering all over the place?”
“I’m always cold and like to be prepared.” The elevator doors open, leading us to a narrow corridor with only three doors. I straighten my shoulders. “Plus, I’m not the one we’re supposed to be roasting today. That’s all you.”
Carter takes the lead, stopping in front of the first apartment we come across. Then he unlocks the door and opens it to me.
