Page 11 of Where We Belong
She hangs up before I can get a word out, and by the time I’ve put my phone back into my bag, I’m fuming. There’s no way I can make sure she actually does something to protect Josie from that dumbass, and I’d bet what’s left in my bank account that she hasn’t heard a word of what I just said.
I’m restless. I can’t stay away from them, but I also can’t go back. Everything I’ve worked my entire life for is here, and everything I’ve spent years trying to escape is there.
Which means I’m stuck in the middle. Neither here nor there, nowhere truly home.
Pressure builds in my chest, in my throat, and I know I can’t relax now. When I’m this amped up, there’s only one thing that can calm me down.
I head back to the staff room and drop my stuff. I guess I’m not going home tonight after all.
The music resonates in my bones.
A remixed version of a tango classic, the song has inhabited my head for the past two years. The choreographer Andy had hired created it specifically for the World Championships that happened last year. I was ready for them. Aced every single one of my routine runs. I thought that would be my year. A gold medal, with a clear path to the Olympic trials two years later.
And then I got cocky on the bars one day, and everything went to shit.
But today, I don’t think about the competitions or the challenges ahead. The music is blasting from the speakers, and I let it control me. I’m panting as I go through the motions, my hardest tumbling pass coming next.
The floor has always been my element. I can hold my own in the rest of the gym, but here is where I’ve always shined. There’s also no place like it to exorcise all the feelings you’re holding inside through raw power.
The rest of the gym is bathed in darkness as I turn to face my diagonal. Andy’s corrections barge through my head—shorten your steps, straighten your back, don’t choke on that last twist.I take an inhale, and on the beat, I start running. The movements come naturally, although the difference since my injury is obvious. I’ve lost strength in my shoulder, which means I’ve lost height in my flips, which means the ground comes too fast at the end of my rotation, and when I land, I have to take three steps back to catch my balance. By the time I get my body to stay in place, I’m out of the floor’s boundaries.
Motherfucker.
I go through the rest of the routine, but my mind is out of it. Those three steps would’ve cost me the tenths of a point needed to get above the others. At this level, the difference between placing on the podium and a loss can be this small.
How can I be ready to compete again in five months when my performance is shit and I don’t have a coaching team behind me?
Maybe Andy was right. Maybe my career was over the second I fell from those bars onto my neck. Maybe what this is is simply obstinacy.
I get into my final pose as the song comes to an abrupt end, limbs lose and despair written all over my posture.
IwishI could give up. Be smarter about this. It’d be so much easier for me, for everyone. Take my geriatric ass out of this and move on. Sadly, I don’t have it in me.
“You won’t win with this.”
I jump to my feet with my hands balled into fists at the sound of the deep voice coming from the opposite end of the gym, my pulse jackhammering from fear rather than exertion. That is, until I realize who it is.
“Je-sus,” I shout, unable to catch my breath. “Two times I could believe, but three? That’s actual stalking.”
Finn comes out of the shadows, large headphones wrapped around the back of his neck, wearing a black crewneck and sweatpants. His hands are in his pockets, and his lips are curled into a smug smirk.
“Are you always this bubbly?” he teases.
“Are you always this shady?”
He snickers. “Why am I being shady now?”
“Uh, I don’t know, because it’s past midnight and you’ve followed me here to watch me practice when I thought I was alone?”
“Are you serious?” He snickers. “Of course I didn’t follow you here.” With a movement that’s so casual it’s annoying, he leans against one of the balance beams and crosses his arms. “In fact, if anyone’s invading the other’s space, it’s you.”
I lift a brow.
“This is my mother’s gym. I help her with the cleaning sometimes.” His eyes widen in delight.
Well. That would explain why Shelli was so familiar with him last time.
“You still could’ve let me know you were here instead of hiding in the shadows like some kind of murderer.”
