I scroll through my tabs to find what I’m looking for. I wasn’t planning on showing it to him yet—I thought I’d probably try to ease him into the idea first—but I can’t stop myself. Not after what he’s just said, like I’m moving on with my life while he’s staying behind.
“I did something,” I tell him after thirty seconds of silent searching, “and while you might be mad, I want you to promise me you won’t hate me, okay?”
He still has a confused look, but manages to say, “I could never hate you.”
“You sure?”
“Yes, you tease.” He grabs me by the waist and flings me onto the bed. “Now show me before I steal that phone from your tiny hands.”
“My hands aren’t tiny.”
“Lexie.”
“Fine.” I shift my position so I’m sitting on my heels, then go to pass him the phone but change my mind midway, bringing it close to my chest. “So I know you’d been thinking about going back to school for a while, but you haven’t talked about it in a long time, and it really bothered me that you didn’t trust yourself enough to do it, so, um…” I trail off, not finding the right words to say, so I hand him the phone, then squeeze one eye shut as he starts looking at the page displayed onto the screen.
His brows lift, then scrunch, then move again. “What’s this?”
“I…” I clear my throat. “I registered you for some classes at the local college, with your mom’s help.” When he stares at me like I’ve grown two heads but remains silent, I add, “It would be part time, of course, so you can keep your job, and if you’ve changed your mind, we still have time to cancel and it wouldn’t be a problem, but I really think you should consider it because—”
“I love you.”
The room falls silent as I force my brain to focus. It feels like I’ve just run my car into a tree.
“What?”
Finn’s gaze is focused on me as he says, “I love you, Lexie.”
I blink. Blink again. I’m suffering from whiplash, but I also think I might be dreaming, or maybe I’m not hearing quite right.
“I wasn’t planning on telling you this now, before your big day, but fuck.” He rubs a hand over his short hair. “You just had to go and give me this…this piece of trust and understanding and I’m so fucking in love with you, Lexie Tuffin.” He shakes his head, then licks his lips. “I’ve become damn good at pretending, but honestly, I don’t remember what it’s like to wake up and not feel overwhelmed by the amount of love I have for you. It’s almost too much sometimes.”
I’m still gawking when he gets to his feet and starts pacing the room. “I love your fire, and I love your crabbiness, but I love your softness too. All the shades of you.” He shrugs, as if to say he can’t help it, then gives me the smile that’s the dart to my heart, finally making it explode. “You’re my best friend, Lex. And that course registration?” he says, pointing at the phone resting on the bed, the screen still bright. “It makes me feelseen. It’s like…” One of his hands climbs to his chest, as if holding on to his heart, and he stops in the middle of the room to face me. “You make me believe that maybe I’m not alone in this world anymore.”
My vision blurs, and it takes everything in me not to let the tears flow. He deserves for me to be able to express myself without being a sobbing mess. Just as I open my mouth to answer, he lifts a hand.
“Don’t say anything yet.” Rubbing his lips softly, he says, “I’m so sorry, I really didn’t want to drop this bomb on you tonight, so I’m going to let you sleep it off. Just focus on your competition tomorrow, and we’ll figure things out later. Okay?”
I don’t know why he’s so nervous. Doesn’t my face say it all?
I try to speak again, but he interrupts me the same way as before.
“Please. Give us this time, okay? I don’t want you to make a decision before something as important as the championship.”
I almost laugh. As if I ever had any choice in the matter when it came to him.
“Okay, I’m going,” he says, and as much as I want to jump from the bed and hold him back, if he thinks I need to be fully focused on this to tell him I want him too, then that’s what I’ll do. What’s one more day?
“You’re going to be amazing tomorrow. I’ll be cheering you on from the stands.”
Since I can’t speak, I only watch as he goes, hoping what I’m feeling is written across my face.
Finn starts making his way to the door, his wide back looking so incredibly good in his flannel shirt, but midway there, he looks over his shoulder.
“Oh, and Lexie? Try to have some fun out there.” He grins. “Your stubbornness might have led you here, but tomorrow, try to let your passion win.”
And here it is: proof that he sees me just as much as I see him.
“Yeah,” I say. “I think I will.”