I nodded, surprised and touched that she had taken the time to learn this detail."She believed they symbolized the fleeting nature of beauty.That we should cherish beautiful things precisely because they don't last."
Astrid's fingers stilled on the papers, and for a moment, I thought I might have found some small connection between us.Then she looked up, her gaze accidentally landing on my scars, and she flinched—visibly, unmistakably flinched—before quickly looking away.
"How philosophical," she managed, her voice tight."Speaking of the ceremony, I've been meaning to ask—would it be possible for you to stand on my right during the vows?The light from the cathedral windows would be more...favorable."
The true meaning hung unspoken between us.Stand so your good side faces the assembled nobility.Stand so I don't have to look at your disfigurement as I bind my life to yours.
Something inside me snapped.After days of enduring fittings and planning sessions, of watching servants whisper behind their hands and courtiers avert their eyes, this small cruelty from the woman who was to be my wife felt like the final blow.
"Of course," I said, my voice cold."We wouldn't want your wedding memories tainted by the reality of what your husband actually looks like, would we?"
Her cheeks flushed scarlet."I didn't mean—"
"You meant exactly what you said."I stood abruptly, no longer caring about the proprieties that had governed my every interaction since childhood."Let me save us both the discomfort of pretending, Princess.You find me repulsive.The thought of touching me—let alone sharing my bed—fills you with disgust.You're sacrificing your chance at love and happiness for the sake of political alliance, and you resent me for it as if I somehow chose this fate for either of us."
She stared up at me, shock written across her perfect features."Eirik—"
"I will stand wherever you wish during the ceremony," I continued, unable to stop the words that poured forth like blood from a wound."I will speak the vows and sign the treaties and play my part in this farce we're creating.But don't insult us both by pretending it's anything other than what it is—a transaction in which we are both merely currency."
I turned to leave, but her voice, suddenly small and vulnerable, stopped me.
"What would you have me do?"she asked."Defy my father?Dishonor my kingdom?We are royals, Your Highness.Our feelings—our desires—have never mattered."
The sadness in her voice deflated my anger, replacing it with a weariness that seemed to penetrate my very bones.I turned back to face her, seeing for the first time not the woman who rejected me, but a fellow prisoner of circumstance.
"No," I admitted quietly."I suppose they haven't."
She looked down at her hands, twisting the embroidered handkerchief between her fingers."I am sorry," she whispered."For my unkindness.It's not...it's not you I resent.It's this."She gestured vaguely at the space between us."This life we didn't choose."
For a moment, I glimpsed the possibility of what might have been—not love, perhaps, but understanding.Mutual respect between two people caught in the same golden cage.But it was too late for that now.My heart already belonged elsewhere, to a woman with silver-white hair and eyes the color of the ocean's depths who looked at my scars and saw beyond them.
"I'll see you at dinner," I said, unable to offer more than this small courtesy.She nodded, and I left her sitting beneath the cherry blossoms, a perfect princess preparing to enter a perfectly loveless marriage.
I found my father in his private study, bent over maps and documents with his advisors.King Aldric of Vaelthorne had aged visibly in the years since my mother's death, his once-dark hair now streaked with silver, deep lines etched around his mouth and eyes.But his gaze remained sharp as a blade when he looked up at my entrance.
"Eirik," he acknowledged, dismissing his advisors with a curt nod."I trust the wedding preparations proceed accordingly?"
"Yes, Father," I replied automatically."Though I was hoping to discuss—"
"The trade agreement with Astoria has been finalized," he interrupted, as if I hadn't spoken."Once you and the princess are wed, our merchants will have exclusive access to their southern ports.The economic advantages will be considerable."
I stood silently as he outlined the political benefits of my impending marriage, each word driving home the reality of my situation.To him, I was not a son seeking happiness but a chess piece to be moved across the board of international relations.
"King Roderick has been most generous with the dowry," he continued."The gold alone will fund the expansion of our navy, not to mention the territorial concessions along the eastern border."
"And what of Princess Astrid?"I asked."What does she gain from this arrangement?"
My father's eyebrows rose slightly."She will become queen of Vaelthorne, of course.A considerable elevation from her current position."
"As consort to a man she can barely stand to look at," I added bitterly.
Father's expression hardened."You speak of matters you don't understand."
"I understand perfectly," I countered, a lifetime of suppressed resentment pushing through the cracks in my carefully maintained facade."I understand that you're trading my future for political advantage.I understand that neither Astrid nor I have any say in who we spend our lives with."
"That is the duty of royalty," he replied, his voice cold."A concept you seem increasingly determined to ignore."
"Perhaps I've found something worth more than royalty."