Page 43 of Partridge in a Bear Tree

"Of course I didn't!" Ashley said indignantly. "You don't have to take turns screaming on a roller coaster!"

"So you see what we've had to put up with all these years," Laurie said to Penny. "She won't take responsibility for her actions. But we're gonna settle this once and for all. The team who eats their way through the hottest wings without giving up wins the debateand," he said with a bright hopefulness in his eyes, "has to bring the other team to Disneyland so they can scream all they want."

Ashley said, "Absolutely not" at the same time Penny said, "Oh, you'reon."

"Penny!"

"We're getting a free trip to Disneyland out of this!" Penny protested. "C'mon, sit down, we can take these guys!"

"I'm a total hot wings weenie and they know it! That's why they're challenging us to this dumb thing! No way! I already know I'm right! I don't need to settle up some twenty-year 'beef'here because it's obvious everybody can scream at the same time on a roller coaster!"

Laurie sniffed. "Chicken."

"Yeah, chickenwings," Penny shot back. "Roll out the milk bottles, babies, you're gonna need it."

"Penny!"

Penny beamed up at her girlfriend. "Trust me, Ash. We've got this." Her partridge was eyeing the table with cautious interest and spreading its wings.Hot wings?

Different from yours,Penny assured it.

Yes,the partridge agreed.My wings are not hot. They are feathery.

That's right, pal.Penny laughed as Ashley, with a groan, sat down.

Her cousins threw their hands in the air, cheering. "Hot! Wings! Hot! Wings! Hot! Wings! YEAAAAH!"

They drew attention despite the general noise in the pub. Gwen came over to the table, Bill trailing along behind her, and raised her eyebrows. "You guys are having a hot-wings-eating competition?" She laid a twenty on the table. "I got twenty on the girls."

Laurie stood up, shouting, "We got ourselves abetgoing on here! C'mon, come lay your money down, girls versus boys, who can handle the hot? Watch us settle a twenty-year-old beef with the most ruthless competition of all! Ladies and gentlemen, come on down!"

Penny, laughing, leaned against Ashley's shoulder. "Is this what he's like at the faires?"

Ashley, glumly, said, "Yeah. He's great at pulling in a crowd. Pen, honestly, I'mterriblewith hot foods."

"Only like ten people have ever tapped out of that hot wings celebrity thing," Penny said cheerfully, "and I think only one of them was a woman. The odds are totally in our favor."

"I'm going to die." Ashley put her head on the table and Penny, laughing, rubbed her back.

"It'll be fine. I promise. Would your mate lie to you?"

CHAPTER 23

No,Ashley's bear said miserably as she bit into the third of seven escalatingly-hot wings.Our mate would notlieto us, but she might bewrong…

Ashley couldn't even answer the animal who lived in her own head. The first wings hadn't been too bad. The second were pretty spicy. The third had snot running down her nose and tears spilling from her eyes. She croaked, "I'm going to die," again, and reached for the glass of milk past a considerable pile of money on the table. Almost the entire family had gone in on the betting, and were now crowded around the booth, standing on chairs, tables, and other booths so they could watch. At least five people were filming them. Ashley's mouth felt like someone had stuck burning embers in it, and there were four more wings to go.

The only consolation was that Jon and Laurie were nearly as red-faced and weepy as she was. Laurie hadn't yet gone for the milk, but he was eyeing it, and Jon was bracing himself for the fourth wing.

Penny, casually, insolently, reached across the table and took the remains of Laurie's third wing, and ate it while maintaining eye contact with him. Then she licked her fingers and quirked aneyebrow at Jon, as if asking him if he really had the stones to eat another wing.

She hadn't been kidding about loving hot wings, or spice in general. She hadn't even broken a sweat, much less started crying. Jon actually faltered as she wiped her hands and nodded at his wings, challenging him to keep going. He set his jaw, and Laurie, in a fit of bravado, grabbed a wing and ate it in two fast bites. He didn't say anything, but even through the blur of spice-induced tears, Ashley could see him setting his face in a 'so there!' expression. Jon, more cautious, took a bite of his fourth wing and relaxed a little. "This one's not so bad."

Ashley said, "Oh, thank god," hoarsely, and bit into hers. He was right: it had a smokey heat to it, a delicious edge that made her take a second bite more eagerly.

Across the table, Laurie's face suddenly flushed bright red and tears erupted from his eyes as he started to cough. "Oh my God. Oh my God, it comes on after a minute there, oh my God."

It was too late to get rid of the bites she'd taken. The edge of smokiness in the wing suddenly deepened into a coal fire as it slid down her throat and hit her belly like a boiler being stoked. Jon was wheezing and hot-faced too, sweat beading at his temples as the heat hit him, too. Ashley dropped what was left of her wing, grabbing for the milk again. Penny, lazily, picked up the wing meant for her and took a savagely large bite of it, her eyes widening. "Oh, wow, that'sgood. Is there more?" She actually stood halfway up, as far as she could in the booth, and looked around the collected Torbens like somebody might be hiding hot wings from her.

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