Page 72 of Ignite

Ethan didn’t drop me, but I had a hard landing just the same. All the light-hearted banter and smiles disappeared as he looked at me for more information.

“There’s a dinner coming up to launch the RFS season.”

“No.”

“I’m on the organizing committee. My father has purchased a table for longer than anyone can remember.”

“No.”

“But, please.”

“No. And this is bullshit.” Ethan stormed back towards my bedroom, tearing off my dressing gown and tossing it at me. “No. No. No fucking way. No.”

“It’s just dinner. We launch the season, a minister offers a blessing over the volunteers and the equipment.”

“No.”

“You don’t need to pay for a thing.” I yelled at him, as if money was the cause of everything wrong with us.

“No.” Ethan already had his jeans on and was looking for his shoes. He didn’t even bother putting his shirt on, just grabbed it, his jacket, and wallet. “I’m not going to sit there looking like a fucking idiot while everyone around me is treated like a hero. I’m not going to be emotionally manipulated, blackmailed or bullied into joining your bloody RFS.”

“Just come to the dinner, please.” I stood between Ethan and my front door. If he wanted to leave, he’d have to go through me or shove me out of the way.

“No. Don’t call me again. Just fix my ute and we’ll call it over before either one of us gets hurt.”

“Too late for that.”

He just looked at me with so much sorrow and anger, I stepped out of the way. I couldn’t be that girl that clung onto a man when he was already gone.

And he was.

I closed all the curtains and locked my work truck in the garage so no one would think I was home. I turned off my phone and circled my house, wishing it still felt like home.

As the morning heated up, I refilled the teapot, grabbed all the junk food I could find, family photo albums, and went back to bed.

Opening the first album was the hardest. Slowly, I read through newspaper articles about my family and their involvement with the Meringa community. From my grandparents’ weddings through to babies born in the middle of a flood, to daddy almost missing Campbell’s birth because he’d been in Victoria for their fires. There was an entire article celebrating Campbell’s birth and a handwritten card from the Victorian State Premier thanking my mother for lending them her husband.

Page after page of history and memories wrapped around me but I couldn’t get warm and my house didn’t feel like home.

For over a day I curled up in bed and cried, all the time wishing I could love a man without giving a damn about his uniform.

Why couldn’t I just let Ethan be Ethan?

Why did I have to keep pushing him away?

Ethan

Ethan to Felicity:Cancel the surprise.

Now wasn’t the time.

I lived from text to text.

Rylee still refused to talk to me. She’d changed up her gym routine to avoid me, had lunch delivered to her garage instead of dining at the pub, and would move to the opposite side of a room if I entered.

I stopped sending her cute texts about teas, but each day, my phone burned with her texts, baiting me until I cracked.

Rylee:Looked a bit slow today.

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