Page 63 of A Touch of Spring Magic

There it was. The thing they’d agreed to ignore.

“I wasn’t in a good head space,” Jessica said softly, feeling he deserved some of the truth if not all. “I felt fragile, under a microscope at school and at home. Everyday felt like sink or swim, and I felt like I was drowning.”

“Jay, I didn’t know.” He covered her hand with his and it felt so good to be heard and accepted. He didn’t tell her she was misremembering or being melodramatic.

“I wish I’d known. I wouldn’t have been so…well, confrontational and always vying for your attention is the polite way to put it,” he admitted.

Feeling daring, she flipped her hand so they were palm to palm fingers interlaced.

“You exuded confidence like you had everything except self-doubt.”

“I swam in doubt. I felt like I was living this double life—trying so hard to be perfect, to always win and be at the top. To be the prettiest, the smartest, most popular, involved in everything. And the perfect daughter, never a hair out of place or a stain on my silk blouse or a missed step in a cheer routine. I was so tired, but…” She paused, nibbled her lip, remembering. “I think I blamed my mom and dad, but really, I did it to myself. Everything was a competition, a win-lose, no other choices. I think that’s why you bothered me,” she admitted. “Everyone liked you. They really liked you, even me because you were so nice, always lifting everyone up even as you floated above us while I thrashed like a spastic shark.”

“That’s an image.” He laughed and so did she.

It felt good talking to him so honestly—not just about the past but about the now.

“Working with you here on the garden too has been a revelation. I realize I never have been really collaborative. I always wanted to prove myself. To win. Chloe’s always been win-win.”

She laid her head back against the seat of his truck.

“Sounds so stupid now. Narcissistic. Negative. Greedy.”

“I don’t think you can be an A-plus narcissist with that much regret and self-awareness.”

She laughed. “Still,” she mused, barely resisting the urge to smooth his hair falling over his forehead. The day was warm, heralding spring’s arrival, and he had part of his window rolled down. “I don’t believe you spend much time lurking in the friend zone. When we were nominated homecoming king and queen, I got so many hate whispers and mean notes tossed my way along with a lot of gossip and side-eye.”

“Really? Why? Everyone loved you. Everyone,” he repeated the last word under his breath, and didn’t meet her gaze, so she too pretended not to hear.

There were so many things she wished she hadn’t said so many years ago. She figured she’d need to give half the town… What was that golf term her dad used?

“Do you play golf?”

“Sure. Caddied at the Cramer Mountain golf club to learn the game and make some extra cash. Caddied for your dad a lot.”

She stared at him like he was a stranger.

“Why’d you want to learn the game?” She couldn’t imagine anything more boring.

“Make social contacts that might lead to work opportunities. It’s outside. Beautiful landscaping, fresh air, you can do it all over the world and well into old age. What’s not to love?”

Jessica hadn’t thought about golf like that. “Saying it like that,” she marveled. “I thought of it as a time suck, my dad spending a lot of time away from us missing my dance recitals or games and wearing bad pants and weird shoes.”

Not to mention how many of the gunners at the accounting firm she’d worked for took up the game, just hoping to get invited to a golf outing.

He laughed. “You don’t need to wear bad pants, and when I have a family, I won’t miss important events for golfing. But I’d also teach my kids and wife to golf so we’d all be together. I wouldn’t want to miss any time with them.”

Her heart ached for all the time he had missed with his mom and sister, and she reached out and brushed her finger along his hand, before tucking her hand in her lap again.

Of course Storm wanted a family.

“Why haven’t you married yet?” she asked.

“I want to, but I haven’t met a woman I think would be able or willing to go the distance. And I’ve been building up my business. School took longer as I had to work to pay for it, so I never went full time. Moved around for job opportunities and training but knew I always wanted to come back to Belmont, so meeting local seemed better in the long run.”

Jessica nodded. All of those sounded like solid reasons. But there was nothing there about fear. Lack of trust.

“What’s that golf term that people use in everyday situations when you’ve made a mistake of something?”

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