Page 81 of Quinn, By Design

“They were partners, and that meant taking turns at being the strong, silent type.” He’d forgotten his mother had been as outraged as Lucy was.

“But that’s not good enough for you.” Her scorn was blistering. “How did Grandpa get mixed up in this? Because you decided you failed Cam McTavish as well. What did you promise him?”

“He didn’taskfor promises. He said you’d need a distraction. That it might take longer than I hoped before I got the recognition I deserved. And he apologised. I didn’t know why he apologised until I heard about the bequest.” He stopped and grimaced. “Free rent, work as a mentor—he was paying me to look after you.”

“And being the fortune-teller he was, he worked out we’d get involved and decided you needed help to provide for me. Have you lost the brain cells you were born with?” She looked magnificent in a rage. “Didn’t you consider there’s a different way to look at it?”

He’d considered every possibility until he was cross-eyed with fatigue.

“Grandpa knew you. He knew you were a decent, kind man who’d probably be kind to me. Knowing me, he guessed I’d monopolise your time trying to work out your relationship with him. That’s why he didn’t tell me. He left me a puzzle, an intellectual distraction. Dealing with me would have taken you away from your work, hence, by dying, he’d stuffed up your timeline for the exhibition. Being a decent, honourable bloke himself, he was apologising in advance.”

“Cam never told you about me,” he repeated, testing her theory to see if it made sense. “He set us both up?”

“He traded on your kindness and my determination to protect him,” she stormed.

“He gave you a puzzle to solve.”

“I need to be in control, or enough in control of myself so I don’t hurt anyone else. When Grandpa died, it was like slipping off the side of a mountain.” Her anger died. “Each time I tried to find a secure foothold, I’d slip further down. I was scrambling mentally, physically and emotionally.”

“Can I come around to your side of the table?’ Niall wanted to hold her.

“Not until we finish.” She held up a hand. “You gave me that foothold. I worked out a few things as well. I couldn’t spend as much time with him as I wanted at the end. Asking you to restore furniture gave me a reason to visit you. To talk to you about Grandpa.”

“I’m making you cry. You hate crying.” He pushed back from his chair. “You were grieving. We all do things we regret when we’re grieving. The fault for this entire mess is mine. Quinns pay their way. But they’re usually gracious about accepting help. I pushed you away.”

“Clementine challenged me to tell you the truth that night.” She hiccupped. “Although she doesn’t know about Mum. The three of us had a pact. No babies.”

“No babies?” Niall hesitated.Was this another legacy of Lucy’s childhood? “You seemed freaked by Kate and Liam’s nursery?”

“Lots of people decide not to have children. Because people are the plague on the planet. Because children should have both a mother and a father, and I’m single ...” She paused—one heartbeat, then another, before she sucked in a breath. “Being an orphan fills up your entire sense of self. It forces you to be alone when you don’t want to be alone. I couldn’t bear the thought of dying and leaving a child alone,mychild alone. It’s not totally rational, like my fear about debt, but I’m afraid I’ll make some terrible mistake and hurt my child.”

“All parents are afraid of parenthood.” Niall absorbed the slap of her sorrow. He should have guessed her hesitation over a babe had nothing to do with his shortcomings. “Liam and Kate are equal parts terrified and thrilled, especially with the way the world is today.”

“Kelly, Clementine, and I got tipsy because time’s up. We either take responsibility for our futures, or we blame our crappy childhoods for every mistake we make.” She sighed.

“Do they date blokes who are happy to split bills?”

“Forget the bills.” She pushed back from the table, tears gone. “You talk to me. You listen to me. You encourage me to do and be more. And you touch me as if I’m the most precious person in your life. You provide everything I need. What do you need, Niall? More importantly, what do you want?” She was fearless.

“You talk to me. You listen to me. You encourage me to do and be more.”

“You hurt me by leaving. I want a partner, a lover, an equal, someone who respects me and doesn’t see me as McTavish’s heir. Don’t kid yourself this is about money. I don’t need money from you. I need you to love me as I am.” She made love so simple.

“I love you, Liùsaidh.” His words were a vow. “I should have told you weeks ago.”

“Are you sure?”

“I hate that you sound tentative. That I’ve planted doubt in your mind. I’m sorry for being a great, patronising pillock.” He held out his arms and offered his heart. “Can I come around to your side of the table now?”

* * *

Lucy stared at hisopen arms until his words settled in all the empty spaces in her body.

“I fell in love with you the minute you started stroking my table. I just didn’t know it.” He stood.

Joy rippled through her, a symphony of colour and light and laughter. “I fell in love with you when you served me tea in a delicate antique cup without a saucer and tricked me into eating a farmhouse sandwich.” Lucy stayed where she was.

“I fell deeper when you brought me lunch the next day.” He took a step toward the head of the table.

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