Page 88 of Lela's Choice

“I abandoned you as effectively as your father abandoned your sister, as those idiots before me abandoned you.”

“You said youcaredfor me.” She pressed a fist to her heart. “Care, not love.” But the words she’d been desperate to hear were smashing chips off her defences like a chisel splitting marble.

“In my arrogance, I believed I was keeping you safe.”

“Isn’t that what today’s about?” She took a step towards him, close enough to be ambushed by his scent and the memories it stirred. “I’m safe. I wasn’t in danger. There’s no need to lie.”

“It’s not a lie.”

“You don’t have to say you love me because you thought I was in danger.” She was afraid to believe.

“Remember when I accused you of confusing sex with love.” He edged closer, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. “You effectively called bullshit. Well, I know the difference too.”

“You’ve had a shock.”Shock upended you. She’d made peace with his offer of affectionate passion—the only offer he’d made. “You’ve had days to contact me. Why say the words now?”

“I was questioning my decision from the second you walked out of my hotel room. I walked back into a difficult domestic violence case. I’ve already told my partners this is my last custody case. I was waiting for the preliminary hearing to confirm the accused will be held in custody until the actual hearing before I contacted you.”

“Hamish, no.” The words echoed in her head, a sacrifice Lela could never accept. Forgetting herself, she closed the distance between them to grip his forearms. “It’s who you are.”

“It’s not all I want to be.” His gorgeous green gaze was steady and sombre. “Why didyoucome?”

“I came to tell you I’m safe.”And to ask if your offer of an affair is still open.

“Youcalledyour family. Youcameto see me in person. Why?”

“I was safe today—on another floor, in a locked secure room, but the hostages were my colleagues. The woman he came to find was my PA. She’s only worked for me a few weeks. I barely know her, but I know she has small kids. It’s not the same—my experience can never match what you went through with Olivia—but I understand better why you’ve decided you can’t do that again. I accept your offer of an affair. You don’t need to give up your work. I don’t want you to stop being who you are.”

“Compromising again, Lela? I can’t ask you to do that.”

“It’s my choice.” She waited for the blow.

“That offer’s no longer available.” Hehadchanged his mind.

“I understand.”No, I don’t. She started backing away.

“I loved you in Malta. Couldn’t bear to think of someone hurting you to get to me. That’s why I walked away. I thought telling you then would make walking away harder.

“But I couldn’t leave you. Giving up my domestic violence work is my compromise with my fear. Seeing your father was clearing hurdles, part of my apology to you. He and I circled each other, but before we finished, we’d established I wouldn’t come between him and his daughter. Equally I won’t tolerate him coming between us.”

“Papa didn’t tell me that,” she cried, stamping a foot at him.

“We didn’t spell it out in so many words.”

“You and I don’t have a relationship.”

“He knows I respect you, admire you, want you to be safe.”

Tears stung the backs of her eyes, but Lela wouldn’t cry now. She’d shed too many tears. “Machismo bonding, two arrogant men deciding my future without me. I make my own choices!”

“He can’t let you go any more than I can. He admitted he’s traded on your soft heart.”

“I’m not here to talk about Papa.” Hope she was afraid to feel, was pushing through her despair.

“I love you. I’m less without you.” His slow smile curved his mouth. “I knew I loved you in Malta. That with you I could have everything. But I couldn’t bear losing everything.

“Today, when I thought you were in danger, I knew I’d forfeited any right to be there. I wouldn’t have been allowed in for the family briefings. I wouldn’t be the person they’d call if you needed help. That drove me crazy. I was stupidly arrogant thinking I could control events. I can’t protect you from life. I can share it with you, live it with you. Please marry me?”

Lela swiped at the tears spilling onto her cheeks.

---