Page 86 of Reggie and Delilah's Year of Falling

“Is this supposed to be happening?”

“Uh... I don’t think so.

“This! Is! Awesome!!” a tiny Oscar the Grouch screeches with each disturbingly faster cycle.

“Be careful! Hold on, Dashel!” a worried Ernie calls back.

We get out of there before we have to see just how many fun-size candy bars Oscar has already gobbled tonight.

I can feel Yobani’s eyes burning a hole in the back of my head as we drive south down PCH, looking for a beach with an open fire pit. When we finally find a spot at Bolsa Chica, Greg asks Leela to take a picture of his costume with the sunset behind him, and Ryan and Delilah go along to hype him up.

“So are we going to talk about that?” Yobani asks as he unloads some firewood we picked up into the ring.

“Talk about what?”

He looks up at me and rolls his eyes, unimpressed with the play-dumb strategy.

“I just don’t get it,” he continues. “I thought that was all cleared up back in the spring. And, like, what a weird thing to lie about for so long. It really doesn’t make sense to me, unless, I don’t know, Delilah’s some undercoverRole With Itsuperfan and we all didn’t know about it.”

“No, definitely not. That’s why it’s been so easy to like... dodge her questions about it.”

Yobani blinks at me. “To lie, you mean.”

“Yeah, okay,” I sigh. “To lie. Or whatever.”

“But why?” he asks. I can tell he’s frustrated with me, but he’s putting all those feelings into packing newspaper between the logs. “I know I was telling you to play all these games before, but Greg was right—”

“Oh man, I gotta get a recording of you saying that,” I laugh, trying to lighten the mood. But Yobani doesn’t bite.

“Greg was right,” he repeats. “The games were stupid. And even if they weren’t, like, this isn’t even a good game. Lying about being on some niche podcast—though it definitely is the superior niche podcast—what does that even get you with Delilah?”

I glance around the beach and make sure they’re still far away. I’m not about to be caught again.

“It’s not just about the podcast. It’s what being on the podcast represents, you know? It fits in with the guy she thinks I am.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Delilah, she—she thinks I’m this totally cool, confident guy that doesn’t care what anyone thinks. Like, the way I am with you guys... she thinks I’m that way in all parts of my life. With my family, online. That I’m always just living my truth or whatever, no matter who is around.”

Yobani is quiet for a bit as he lights the newspaper and uses a stick to get the fire going. “Let me get this straight. Delilah knows you’re a nerd, but she thinks you’re a... cool nerd?”

“Exactly.” I snort out a laugh. “See, it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just, like, you know, little things.”

Yobani sits down on the sand, the fire he built lighting up hisface. “But the little things add up.”

I shake my head and look away.

“Listen, I doubt she expects you to be perfect. And she seems to really like you, bro. I’m sure if you show her—”

“What, that I’m a scared, insecure wimp? That even my family thinks I’m a joke, but I don’t have the balls to stand up to them—or anyone? You really think she’s going to like all that?” The words make my throat burn as they fall out. Saying them out loud makes them feel even more true, which makes them hurt all the more.

“I think she’ll surprise you. And I don’t think you’re being fair to yourself. Reg, you’re—”

“I don’t need some fake pep talk right now.” I roll my eyes and kick at the sand with my feet.

“It’s not fake. But okay, man.” I hear him exhale loudly. “I just think... you’re not even giving her a chance to prove you wrong. To, like, make her own choice here.”

“You have no business giving me advice, Yo. It’s senior year and you’ve never had a serious girlfriend.”

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