Page 61 of One True Loves

My eyes go wide when I say the words, and I can’t help but look around the room, as if my parents are going to jump out of the shadows and revoke my Black Excellence card.

“Well, okay then,” Alex says. “That’s what you’re going to do.”

“But wait,” I say, side-eyeing him. “Are you just encouraging all of this so I’ll stay in California and be close to you?”

“I mean... I’m notnotsuggesting it because of that,” he laughs, eyes twinkling. “Long Beach and Brentwood are pretty close!”

“See, there you go with your weirdo traffic-less estimations. Long Beach and Brentwood are gonna be, like, two hours apart on a Friday afternoon after classes are over for the week. Have you evenbeenon the 405?”

“You’ll just have to come up Thursday night then.”

“Oh, so in this scenario,I’mdriving toyou?” I bump his shoulder with mine, and I can feel the cheesiest of all cheese faces on my cheeks.

“But no, for real,” he says, the smile on his face smoothingout into something more serious. He traces the lines on my palm as he continues. “I just want you to do what makes you happy, Lenore. You deserve to be happy. And you have a better idea of what will do that than anyone—better than me, better than your friends, better than your family. You are this, this... brilliant, dynamic, beautiful girl. And if the path you take is different, well, it doesn’t make it wrong.”

“You really believe that?” I say. “Mr. Future Doctor? Mr. Twenty-Year Plan?”

“Of course I do. I believe in you.”

The words strike me like an arrow in the chest, and I feel my breath catch. Has anyone ever said that to me before? It’s usually me saying that to my friends, hyping them up. And my parents? Maybe. But if so, it was probably quickly followed up with a suggestion on how I could improve, a critique of the ways I didn’t get things quite right.

“Thank you,” I say, my voice small. I let my head fall into his chest, so he won’t see all the feelings passing across my apparently Disney princess face.

“God, am I kidding myself, though?” I sigh. “Telling you is easy. Telling my parents is going to be a whole ’nother story. Like, how am I going to explain to them that I’m throwing away college, something that they fought so hard for, this opportunity they’re basically handing to me on a silver platter?”

“You’re not throwing it away. You’re just pressing pause, so you don’t waste the opportunity—”

“And what about the money? They might be able to get thetuition back, but are they going to lose money on the housing deposit? That shit wasn’t cheap. Man, I’m going to have to get a job. Like, immediately. Because there’s no way my parents are letting me stay at home without a job. But do I even want to stay home? I don’t think I could afford my own apartment, though, and I’m not trying to get some crusty roommates—”

Alex squeezes me tight. “I’m not trying to be one of those irritating guys who tells a woman to chill, but... Lenore, you need to chill.” He presses his forehead to mine, and I can feel my speeding heartbeat thumping against his chest.

“We’ll make a plan. Together,” he whispers. “As you know, that’s sorta my jam.”

“Mr. Twenty-Year Plan.”

He frames his face with one of his hands. “That’s my name. Don’t wear it out.”

I take a deep breath. “Yeah, okay.”

There are a lot of uncertainties ahead of me, but comfort is starting to bloom inside of me too. Because I won’t have to go it alone, I won’t have to put on a front for someone. And that makes all of these life-changing decisions feel a little more manageable. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself as I let all of the other worries fall away, for now, until it’s just me and Alex,right now.

“I believe in you, too,” I tell him. “For the record.”

“Thank you.”

We’re so close I can feel his breath against my cheek. We’re in his room, on his bed. Alone.

No one knows where we are, which means no distractions, no interruptions.

He must have the same realization because he reaches up to cradle my face, kissing me slowly, deeply, in a way he hasn’t before. I wrap my arms around his neck and tug him closer, down to the bed, feeling his warmth on top of me. He hitches up my hips, lips never leaving mine, and pulls me to the top of the bed, so my head rests on his pillow. It feels like every inch of my body is touching every inch of his. It feels right.

“Hey,” I say, in between kisses. “I have an answer to your question. From earlier. From yesterday.”

He pulls away, his lips swollen, his eyebrows pressed together in confusion.

“I’m sorry, but I’m having trouble remembering anything before two seconds ago.”

I laugh, fingering his bow tie. I tug on one end until it unravels and pull it from his collar. “You asked if you could be my boyfriend.”

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