Page 6 of One True Loves

“And waste these outfits?” I say, putting on the cool Lenore front that they expect from me. “Nah, girl, we need to stay until they kick us out. Plus, that limo won’t fit in the drive-through!”

“In-N-Out is never a waste,” Tessa says, giving me a squeeze. “But I’m down to do whatever you want to—oh.”

I see Jay on all their faces before I actually see him. They’re all silent at first, with wide eyes that shift to a spectrum of uncomfortable and mad.

Finally: “Fuuuuuuuuuck.” Lavon lets it out in one long breath.

I follow their stares to see Jay standing in front of a wallof floating, glowing jellyfish.

The first thing I notice is how good he looks. A navy tux with shiny black lapels and stripes down the sides over a black turtleneck, finished off with blinding white sneakers. His hair is slicked back all suave, and the confidence that I can’t get enough of just oozes off him. Like I said,style.

The second thing I notice, though, is Rachel. Standing close. Standing real close, closer than any friends I’ve seen before. And then she’s leaning in closer. His hand that was, I realize, on her waist slides down to her ass, and then she’s reaching up to grab his neck and their lips lock together like magnets. They don’t kiss like two people doing this for the first time. They kiss like two people who have been doing this for a while. Two people who havepractice.

“Lenore, wait,” Tessa says, because apparently I’m standing up. Apparently I’m walking over to Jay and Rachel, who are apparently comfortable enough to make out in public.

I don’t even say anything when I get there. I don’t know what to say. But Tessa, who’s right behind me, takes care of that.

“What. The. Fuck. What the fuck?!” It’s probably the loudest I’ve ever heard her be. Jay and Rachel spring apart.

I expect him to start apologizing and explaining. He has to have an explanation, right? Not that I’m going to just accept it or whatever, but, like, I’ll listen. I’m already thinking about all the ways he’s going to have to make this up to me. I mean, it’s going to be a long road, but maybe we can get there?

The apologies don’t come though. No explanations. Hedoesn’t even look embarrassed. In fact, I can’t read his face at all. The face I can read, though, is Rachel’s. It’s easy to interpret. She looks pissed.

“Uh, hi?” she says. “Do you need something?”

“Jay?” I sound so small and weak. I hate it.

“Hey, Tessa.” He nods at her. “Hey, Lenore.”

Lenore. He never calls me Lenore.Hey, lady.That’s been our thing since the very first day in advanced painting. It’s what he called me during our library parking lot hookups, during our fourth-floor stairwell meetings. That one night I snuck him into my bedroom and then out before five a.m., even though my dad would have murdered us if he ever found out. Never just Lenore.

What’s going on? Is he... here with Rachel? Is he cheating on me with Rachel?

“I, um, like—” I can’t form a complete thought, and I can feel my mouth hanging open and my brain tries to interpret all the information in front of me, to put everything together in a way that comes to some other, perfectly reasonable explanation.

Rachel looks between us slowly, and then turns toward Jay. “What’s going on, babe?”

And that’s when it all clicks into place. Jay isn’t cheating on me. He’s cheatingwithme.

“Jay?” I say again, my voice stronger this time. “What is she talking about?”

He winces and looks uncomfortable. But I realize, with horror, that he looks uncomfortablefor me. Like I’m the onedoing something cringe-y here. He holds his hand out like he’s holding me back. “Lenore, it’s just—you know I’m with Rachel. Don’t make this weird.”

“Weird? Weird?” I’m reduced to a single word. “WEIRD?!”

Rachel’s eyes are flicking between us faster now, and I can see her putting it together. Jay’s cool facade starts to break a little.

“Can we talk later, Lenore?” he says, using the name that sounds so foreign coming out of his mouth. “After you get back from that cruise.”

I can feel my nose scrunch up as I flash back to the joke he made when I first told him about it. We were at the beach together in the back of his car, watching the waves while we cuddled close in a blanket. “Is a cruise a good idea considering you can’t swim?” he’d joked, wrapping his legs around mine. Which, whatever, I can’t swim, but I hadn’t told him that. Why did I let that ignorant shit go so easy then? Why did I laugh and even imagine us on the cruise together, one of Tessa’s stupid fantasies come to life?

I was so stupid. I thought I was chosen. Treasured. But I was just his chick on the side while he gets serious with Rachel Chan—someone he doesn’t have to hide from his parents.

But fuck it. I don’t need him. I’ve never needed any boy, and I’m not about to start now. I’m mad at him, yeah, but even more so I’m mad at myself for how little I was willing to accept from someone.

“Jay, we are never speaking again.”

Inside I’m doing a stank-face, booger-nose goodbye power ballad like Jennifer Hudson inDreamgirls, or when she was the freaky CGI cat thing. But on the outside I’m stone. He doesn’t get to see me cry.

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