Page 85 of Darling Beasts

“It’s wildest fucking thing,” he said, stumble-walking outside.

“What?” Raj said, his voice so pitched and wobbly it made me do a double take. That’s when I noticed Raj was very aggressively scratching his arm.Oh, shit.

“That guy in the tux was trying to leave,” Tony said. “But couldn’t get into his car.” I clenched my eyes, my entire body. “He couldn’t get in because the thing was filled with live skunks.”

***

Dr. dos Santos stepped out of the official zoo van, to which a stink badger trailer was affixed. “I didn’t know you were related tothoseGunns,” he said, right off the bat.

“Thanks for coming,” I mumbled, hoping the grandeur of the Ranch didn’t put him off. “We’re really giving you a run for your money today.” I hadn’t wanted to drag him into a second PBS emergency, but Raj was right about California law. When it came to removing skunks, it was one hundred yards or death.

“I’m doing this for Raj,” he said. “Not you.”

“Cool. Also. The cassowary?” I whispered, eyes darting around. “You’ll come back for him tomorrow, right?”

“I’m not fucking touching that thing,” dos Santos barked, sounding awfully spicy for a veterinarian. “As I told your emissary—”

“Oh, his name is Ivan—”

“I’m working on a solution. I talked to some guys in Brawley...”

“As long as there’s a plan. I don’t want the nitty-gritty. Now. Back to the badgers. That’s the car.” I pointed to Spencer’s rental. “There are seven inside. Two got out and are wandering the grounds.”

“The grounds,” dos Santos repeated with a snort. “Welp. Off I go. Wish me luck.”

As I watched him circle the vehicle, debating how the hell toget inside, I felt someone step up behind me. The waft of white wine gave her away.

“Care to explain what happened?” Talia said. She was back from checking on Spencer, who’d vomited from the stink badger scent. He’d also slipped and hit his head and was now going through a concussion protocol with Dad’s personal physician. “A dozenskunks?”

“There are nine, actually. And they’re stink badgers, not skunks,” I said, crossing my arms, thinking my sister should be grateful the animals showed up to pull attention from the proposal fiasco.

“Gabby the math wiz. Pretty rude to make Raj find the missing ones.”

“Yes. Poor Raj. I pray he knows what he’s looking for, given he’s never been acquainted with a stink badger before. It must be very confusing!”

Talia sighed deeply. “That was a flare, wasn’t it?”

“It wasn’t me,” I said, as I started to panic about what Raj’s stink badgers might mean for all of us, given the cassowary. We’d doubled down on PBS out here, and the realization sent shivers along my spine.

“You expect me to believe you had nothing to do with it?” Talia said. “The zoo guy seemed awfully familiar with you...”

He was also familiar with Raj, I did not point out.Think about it, I imagined saying.I met Raj on a message board. You never asked what kind. But Raj’s PBS was Raj’s business, and I wasn’t going to out him now.

“Ya got me. The stink badgers were PBS-induced,” I said, proud of myself for not totally lying.

“I knew it.” As Talia cursed and complained, I took the opportunity to sneak a glimpse of dos Santos. He’d placed the trailer flush against a car door and was trying to open it without touching any badgers.

“I wasn’t aware you were still doing the PBS thing,” Talia said.

I cranked my head in her direction. “Yeah. I’m still ‘doing’ my incurable disease. Thanks for your concern, though.”

“What’s with the attitude? You can’t be mad at me for not knowing. You never talk about your PBS. I can’t remember the last time it came up.”

“Can you blame me?” I said. “Everyone gets so annoyed, saying it’s all in my head, while accepting flimsy excuses about flamingos in ponds in upstate New York. It’s best to keep you all out of it. You’re welcome.”

“I did think the flamingos were strange,” Talia said. “I was going to ask but didn’t want to make you mad. I never meant to give you the impression I don’t care. It’s just...”

“It’s easier to look away,” I said. “I get it. We’re all guilty of ignoring things, pretending problems don’t exist. Gunn family trait.”

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