Page 13 of Darling Beasts

“What. On earth,” she said, squinting as she stalked closer. “Did you buy another Theranos miniLab?”

“Of course not,” Ozzie scoffed, wondering how anyone could mistakeBestiaryfor an inoperable blood processing unit. “The miniLab is part of acollection. A compendium of failed startup projects. One is perfect. Two would be unnecessary.”

“Indeed,” Talia said. “So, what is it? Looks like a laptop.”

“A 2008 Samsung.”

Talia reached for it, but Ozzie slapped her hand away.

“It’s art!” he said. “No touching!”

“That piece of junk isart?”

“It’s a laptop infected with six pieces of the most damaging malware known to man. It represents the physical manifestation of online threats that might otherwise seem abstract. It’s calledThe Bestiary of Chaos. Put some respect on the name.”

“How much did you pay for it?” Talia asked, and Ozzie felt sorry for his sister for being so pedestrian and not understanding culture. Gabby’s plays were wacky as fuck—Ozzie couldn’t fathom why anyone would pay to watch a dude silently peel an orange onstage—but at least the people at the Collective were attempting to make sense of the world.

“I didn’tpayfor it,” Ozzie said. “That’s so gauche. Iwonit. For one-point-three-four-five.”

“As in, milliondollars?” Talia let her mouth fall open dramatically.

“Pretty insignificant given the malware caused financial damages in excess of $95 billion. Also, it came with a power cord.”

“Ozzie, you do realize things have changed. You can’t—”

“Talia!” someone called out. “I thought I heard a voice.”

Suddenly Freja appeared, padding across the black-and-white inlay marble flooring in a sports bra and tiny shorts. SometimesOzzie couldn’t believe she was his. Not that he viewed her in those terms.His. Give him some credit. He wasn’t a misogynist.

The two women exchanged hugs.

“So you’ve met the latest purchase,” Freja said with a quick toss of the eyes. “He swears it’s a wise investment, but I have to question the sanity of bringing several viruses into a home almost entirely controlled by computers.”

“It’s firewalled,” Ozzie said. “And you’re just mad because you still haven’t figured out how to flush the toilet.” He gave her a squeeze, and she playfully batted him away.

“Oz told me about your dad’s big plans,” Freja said, hopping up onto the hallway table, crossing her legs. Ozzie eyed her for a second. She was sitting awfully close toBestiary... “You’re not doing it, are you? Moving to California? Obviously not. That would be ridiculous.”

“Totally,” Talia agreed, eyes darting away.

“What’d Gabby have to say about it? Oz wasn’t any help.” She lightly kicked his leg, and the table jiggled. “He couldn’t remember her reaction!”

“I’m going to move this,” Ozzie said. As he returnedBestiaryto the Hermès bench, Talia confessed she didn’t know Gabby’s reaction, either, because she’d vanished mid-conversation.

Freja snorted. “Figures,” she said, and Ozzie gave her a look. His girlfriend’s opinion of Gabby bothered him, especially since Freja liked Talia, who was objectively the worse sister. Also, had she forgotten? Gabby was how they’d gotten together.

Freja and Gabby were roommates years ago, until Gabby started up with one of her... What did she call them?Flares. One morning there was a chicken turtle in the living room and, several months later, a grackle in the Frosted Flakes. It was a harmless little bird, but no matter. Freja moved out the next day because she “didn’t fuck with wildlife.”

Four years later, Ozzie ran into Freja at a house party in the Hamptons. After they worked out how they knew each other,Ozzie invited her to dinner. To his shock (but, actually? not really), Freja declined. He was very cute and charming, but his sister was a freak.

“Clearly you don’t know my sister very well,” he’d said. “She’s great. Everybody loves her.” Gabby was far from perfect—obviously—butcome on. “Freak” was taking it too far.

No, sorry, Freja insisted, this Port-Beast-Whatever wasweird. Like Munchausen, but with animals, and Freja refused to let go of this take no matter how many times Ozzie swore it was a real condition. He eventually got her to agree to a date, and in the year they’d been together, he’d done a decent job of keeping these two parts of his life separate. Maybe the old Ozzie wouldn’t have put up with the bashing of his sister, but she wasn’t the best friend he’d grown up with.

“Okay, Tal, I’m dropping you a pin with my garage’s location,” Ozzie said, now eager to speed up the conversation. “I’ll text the garage, tell them to pull up the car. Feel free to hang on to it as long as you need.”

“Thanks...” Frowning, Talia looked back at the laptop. “Listen, I don’t pretend to ‘get’ that type of art, but I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Don’t worry, sis,” Ozzie said, pushing her toward the door. “I always do.”

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