Page 46 of Monsters of Mayhem

I looked at him curiously, cocking my head to the side. “What? Do you think she could be bringing him back or trying to?”

Magnus burst out laughing. “No.” he said adamantly. You know how much she hates him. How much he broke her heart and made her what she is today. Do you know how many times she has tried to kill herself, only to find she wakes up immortal. We were born this way but mother was born human. She expected to grow old and die. Instead, she watched her loved ones die. She was not offered the same respite when she felt like her life had come to an end.”

“How come you’re only telling me all this stuff now?” I asked.

“She tried it again recently,” Magnus said. “She slit her arms from end to end. From top to bottom. I found her in the morning drained of blood. yet still very much alive. She cried in my arms as the wounds disappeared and her body healed itself. Blood rejuvenated in her veins and she came back to life stronger than ever before and just as miserable. I think for some people longevity is a good thing and gives them strength and power, but for our mother it has made her weak and tired of life. It has made her crazy.”

“I must go and see her,” I said. “I’ll leave you in charge here with Ratchet. Take care of the women.”

“It’s all I’ve ever done.” Magnus said. “I’ve spent my life taking care of our mother, but there seems to be nothing I can do for her now.”

“I’ve left you alone with her for far too long. It hasn’t really been fair of me,” I said. I had a pang of guilt knowing I’d been caught up in my romance with Caroline and hadn’t been paying enough attention to my own family. Caroline was my heart and my soul, but my mother was the woman who birthed me. I knew she’d been depressed at different times but this level of suicidal intention I had never seen before. I reached out to clasp Magnus on the shoulder. “You did the right thing by coming to tell me about it,”

“I just hope you know you can trust me,” Magnus said.

“Of course,” I replied not completely sure I did but knowing I didn’t have many other options. “You’re my brother.”

Chapter 28

“I’m too old for this,” I said, going in to see Laney. It was three in the morning, the middle of the night, and Ryder was gone. Again.

I wasn’t about to start crying. I wasn’t some star struck little girl. It’s not that I didn’t feel like crying; I totally did, but I knew I should’ve been used to this type of behavior from Ryder for a long time. It wasn’t like he didn’t do this just the other week. Right after we’d made love, he disappeared.

“Maybe he’s doing something important,” Laney said. “I mean, it’s not like he’s a total ass hat.”

“Whose side are you on?” I asked.

“I’m ride or die with you,” Laney threw a pillow at my head. “No doubt about it, but you know, I’ve been watching Ryder with you and I get you are nervous and he’s let you down a few times, but I seriously don’t think he’s doing it on purpose. “

“He just fucked me and leaves on accident?” I asked.

She held up a pillow, aiming it again at my head. “Don’t make me throw this,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m just saying, maybe this isn’t all about you.”

I looked at her, horrified “How can you say that?” I burst into a fit of maniacal laughter. I loved how Laney cut to the bone. She didn’t take any bullshit and she didn’t comment unless it was warranted. “You mean just because he’s trying to save the world, maybe I shouldn’t worry so much?”

“There’s a little fact about Ryder you seem to keep missing. Even though it’s not necessarily on your timeline…“ Laney said. “He always comes back.”

I sat there quietly for a moment, letting her words sink in. He always came back.

It was the truth.

“So why do I doubt him so much,” I asked.

“It’s not like he’s not a monster,” Laney said, “but you’ve got to give him some credit. Maybe be a little patient with him. You didn’t fall in love with a guy who’s going to the office all day and going to be home every night. You fell in love with a guy who is saving the world and killing bad asses. That means he’s not going to be around all the time the way you may want him around. Asking him to quit doing his job is like asking you to stop trying to find a cure for cancer.”

“I don’t know how to bring the two worlds together,” I said. “I feel like I’m living in two different places at the same time, although one of them is fading quickly. I swore on my mother’s grave I would try to find a cure for cancer. I really want to make that happen, but how do I do that and stay by his side in partnership?”

“Maybe you start with a little bit of self-care,” Laney said. “Maybe you take care of what you need.”

“I still want my home in Boston,” I said. “I haven’t gotten used to the idea it’s completely gone.”

“There’s no getting your life back,” Laney said. “I mean, there’s whole other opportunities available to you now. You don’t have to work for somebody else doing cancer research. With the resources of the demigods, maybe you can set up a whole new laboratory.”

“I never thought about that,” I murmured, suddenly realizing the demigods had deep pockets. “Will they care about the challenges of the humans?”

Was it something that even mattered to them?

“Maybe we should go and ask them?” Laney said.

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