Page 9 of Monsters of Midlife

I glanced up at Magnus. That’s what he was doing right now, researching me. I recognized the look on a person’s face, somewhat glazed over, clearly calculating something behind the clouded eyes.

“Are you profiling me?” I asked.

“I might be,” Magnus tilted his head to the side.

“I think it’s supposed to be a date, not an interrogation,” I pointed out.

“What’s the difference?” He looked like he didn’t actually know the answer and wanted me to enlighten him.

“Well.” I decided to play along. “An interrogation is supposed to be scary and a date, well, it’s not supposed to be scary.”

“Scared?” he asked. “Are you scared?”

“Should I be?” I retorted. I wasn’t getting any sense he was threatening me. It was more like he was trying to be charming and my skills were super rusty, which was fairly possible. Or else he was really bad at this. “Do you go out on dates much?”

“This is my first one,” he said, not looking in the slightest bit embarrassed about that fact.

“You’re lying,” I said. “It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure you out.”

“Why do you say that?” Magnus’ face creased, genuinely puzzled.

“Well, it’s obvious you’re not American,” I said, based on his light yet persistent accent. “I don’t know what it’s like where you come from. But I have a feeling there’s still some type of ritual which would constitute a date prior to consummation.” I knew when I said a word like consummation to somebody, I should blush bright red and be properly embarrassed but I didn’t feel that way at all. I really just didn’t care. I was way too old for that, way past worrying. Besides with someone like this he was way too hot for me and way too young. He looked younger even than Ryder. I couldn’t tell by how many years, but I didn’t want to get to know him well enough to find out.

“Where I come from, everything is arranged,” Magnus said.

My lips twitched in irritation. There were so many things wrong with that; where was I even going to start? It treated people like they were objects made to be controlled and sold and bought depending on the price of the dowry. I knew there were a lot of different cultures that did it across the world, but I wasn’t really fond of any of them. I wasn’t a huge believer in falling in love and getting married, but at least the responsibility of keeping the marriage together was on the married couple, not on the extended family who would always have their opinion in the couple’s business.

He shrugged, his massive shoulders moving up and down in abrupt jerks. “You can’t change the world,” he said. “Not from where you are sitting.”

“Where you’re sitting is so much better?” I asked. “At least I’m trying to do something. What are you doing?”

“I’m doing my own level of research,” Magnus said. “To try to make a better future. Isn’t that all you’re trying to do?”

“A brighter future for who?” I asked. “Mankind? Or yourself?”

“In the words of the immortal Michael Jackson, I believe I need to start with the man in the mirror,” Magnus smiled.

There was something about the smile I didn’t like; it put my back on edge. I side stepped his hand as we moved to our table. I wasn’t very comfortable. I had to get out of here; this wasn’t going to work. It had been a crazy idea anyhow. I couldn’t go on a date and wipe my passion for Ryder out. It was wishful thinking but ultimately not possible. Every moment I spent with Magnus just made me miss Ryder more. It was as if I could smell his scent on the air. I hated that I could never get Ryder out of my brain, but sitting here with Magnus, it only brought him more to the foreground. I stood up, bumping the table and accidentally toppling over the salt and pepper shakers. Nervously I reached forward and grabbed some salt with my right hand and threw it over my left shoulder. “Reverse any bad attention this has garnered to me,” I murmured.

“What the hell are you doing?” Magnus asked roughly.

“Oh, nothing,” I said, suddenly feeling completely self-conscious.

“Don’t tell me you’re superstitious?” Magnus’ mouth tightened in restrained mirth.

“Not really,” I said. “It’s just a habit picked up from my parents.”

“Which parents?” Magnus asked.

I tilted my head to the side and looked at him closely. “What do you mean which parents?” My words slid slowly out of my mouth as my fingers drummed on the table. How could he possibly know?

“I don’t know. You just struck me as someone who had a lot of people trying to parent them,” he murmured smoothly.

I frowned at him. My mother was my birth mother, but my father was actually my stepfather and had adopted me when my mother had given birth to me. It was a closely guarded and protected secret because I was grateful that the con man who used to beat my mother was not actually related to me by flesh and blood.

“I’m going to go home,” I said, holding out my hand. “It was nice to meet you, Magnus. “

He didn’t seem fazed I was ending our date so quickly. “Catch you soon?” He gave me a sideways grin as if my early departure was all part of his plan.

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