Page 6 of Monsters of Midlife

“And say what?” I asked.

“Anything. We’re just trying to see if she’ll pick up, right? If she’s okay?”

I glared at him; not sure I liked this idea.

“I can tell her I have secretly undying love for her,” Ratchet grinned.

A shot of adrenaline ran through me and shot through my arms; I was gripping him by the throat before I even realized it.

“Kidding,” Ratchet choked the words out.

I released him. “No one can find out Caroline’s my wife.”

Ratchet shook his head, his finger massaging his neck. “She’s your ex-wife.”

“Would you quit correcting me on everything?” I asked in irritation.

Ratchet looked at me with a quirky side grin. “Just trying to keep you honest, mate.”

“Why don’t you figure out which cambions are the assholes who stole my ring and then we’ll go from there,” I said.

“I’ve been sending out feelers all morning to the different cambions I know and the different headhunters,” Ratchet said. “There’s one here in Cougar Creek? Antonio. He was around when they took your ring. He might know.”

“I thought about that,” I said. “Let’s pay him a visit.”

Chapter 4

CAROLINE

I stood in front of the mirror and tried not to glare at myself. I smiled attempting to look relaxed and happy, all those things men wanted in a woman. Well, let’s be real it wasn’t just what men wanted in a woman, it was what people wanted in anybody they hung out with. They wanted someone who was lighthearted and able to help them find joy. I was the farthest thing from that. I had only ever been passionate about two things in my entire life. One was science and the other was Ryder. I took a deep breath pushing the sickness in my stomach down. After three years the thought of Ryder shouldn’t make me sick to my stomach. It did more than that. It made me damp between the legs and made my heart ache. The part that made me sick to my stomach was the knowledge I would never see him again.

I needed to move on.

I had hoped once I realized he wasn’t going to contest the divorce we could at least, you know, see each other once a month or once every two months when he was in town. But after he signed the paperwork he left, and I hadn’t seen him since. He was probably already shacked up with some other woman or whoever he was seeing at the moment. I mean, the truth was, I didn’t know anything about the time he spent away from me. He could have a woman in every port for all I knew. It was pretty much what I expected.

I had to move on. I had to get him out of my system, and I had to start taking care of my emotional health. Though, as I looked in the mirror, it was clear three years in the lab hadn’t done me a damn bit of good. My skin was pasty white and sagging in places I didn’t want it to sag. Like everywhere. Who wants any part of their skin to sag? I had filled out a little bit in my waistline. At forty-two, I wasn’t suffering any signs of menopause yet. Perimenopause wasn’t even on my radar. The only thing that happened was I got skinnier, because after I realized I was never going to see Ryder again, life had lost its color. And there’d been many nights when I had questioned whether giving him up for those couple of nights a month had been worth it. Maybe those two nights were enough. Maybe they were better than nothing. Maybe I was just pathetic.

I sighed, dejected at my state.

The stress hadn’t done me any good. I had lost weight, my hair had thin gray lines running through it. I found it hard to believe anybody would find me attractive.

I looked back at the online profile of the man I was meeting at that afternoon.

He looked about fifty, blond with graying temples and from his pictures, at least he had a great physique. Though not on par with Ryder’s, it definitely reminded me of him. My stomach roiled again as I took a deep breath trying to calm down.

“This is what you need,” I encouraged myself. “This is what you have to do to move on. Ryder is not coming back, and you need to start meeting other people. And you’re not going to meet them in the lab.”

I straightened out my skirt and rearranged my blouse a bit. I was sure I was overdressed, but I didn’t really know what else to wear. My typical clothes were jeans and a T-shirt or yoga pants and a T-shirt. Even what I wore in the lab. Nobody gave a shit. Nobody was interested in my looks; they were only interested in my brain.

“This is going to have to do,” I said, taking a deep breath and straightening my back.

I wore what I wore for my annual review and hoped he liked the black skirt and white blouse. I tried to dress up a bit with pumps, but when I looked in the mirror, I looked a little too dressy and I knew it, so I swapped them out for a pair of flats.

It didn’t take long to get down to the Boston market where we had agreed to meet for a drink. I walked into the old town hall where Paul Revere had announced the red coats were coming. It was exactly how I felt with this guy. He was like an invader into my private world. An enemy coming to wage war on my private space. I chewed my lower lip for a second. If Laney had her way, I’d be sleeping with the guy this afternoon. I had made sure I wasn’t going to do that, however, by not trimming or shaving anything. No way was I going to have an afternoon quickie.

Those cards were not even on the table. I glanced back at the photo. If this guy was anything like his photo, though, he wouldn’t be a bad one to break my dry spell after Ryder.

The pain in my stomach started again. I pushed it away. I couldn’t keep moping after Ryder for the rest of my life. He was gone.

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