Page 26 of Midlife Witch Unexpected

“You both need to go now. Tomorrow I’ll be gone for like an hour from noon to one. I’ll go and do something, so you guys come in and clear out all your crazy from my house. You have to understand, this is my house. I own it. And Branson, you’re smoking hot but you’re crazy, and I can’t have crazy around me, so whatever it takes, you’re not going to be the executor of The Estate anymore.”

Hilda and Branson exchanged a look.

“Well, she just doesn’t know,” Hilda said, raising her shoulders. “And until she knows, then she just doesn’t know.”

“Why can’t I just show her?” Branson asked. “If her hands aren’t enough for her.”

“It’s against the rules.”

“No. No. No.” I backed up, holding a palm towards them. “I think you’ve shown me quite enough, Branson. Let’s just call this an evening. You guys can leave the property, please.”

I pushed past them and went to the front door, pulling it open wide. It was pretty obvious what I wanted them to do. They stared at me silently for a moment but then with an air of dejection that almost made me feel bad, they both walked out, Hilda leading the way.

I shut the door, holding it tightly behind me and putting the deadbolt on. I didn’t think twice about it; I went straight to the back kitchen door and put the deadbolt on there also. Just to be safe I made a quick round of the parlor, library, and red room to make sure there were no doors downstairs I was missing. Everything was going to be deadbolted until I could get a locksmith out here.

Chapter 16

“Thank goodness for modern technology,” I murmured to myself as I traipsed down the stairs to the knocking on the front door. My cell phone had told me a few minutes earlier Joachim, the locksmith, was on his way to my house. I quickly checked my hands to make sure they weren’t glowing before I opened the door wide, confident there would be somebody useful, for once, on the other side of the door. I mean, Branson was useful, but this one could actually do something I really needed to be done. I quickly turned off all the voices in my head; they were screaming Branson had absolutely done something that needed to be done. But I was still mad at him for being crazy. Arguably that was also not his fault, but I was angry nonetheless.

Angry with myself.

I was willing to admit that much.

"Can I come in?" Joachim asked. He stood there, tall, white, and lanky, with shoulder-length brown hair and piercing dark eyes.

“I think you’re going to have to,” I said, stepping back. “Come on in.”

He stepped across the threshold, and it seemed like the earth gave a little tremor. Even though I knew it wasn't possible, it still made me look sideways at him. I had already come across enough weirdness in this town, so it wouldn't surprise me if there was more.

“I’ll be the only one with the keys, right?” I asked.

"Absolutely, ma'am," he said, holding up the manufacturer's plastic container complete with the original lock and key.

“Okay, thanks,” I said. “You can never be too safe around here and everyone’s just walking in and out of my house as if they own the place.”

“No one can come inside here without your consent ma’am,” Joachim said as he kneeled in front of the door and began taking off the lock. “That’s how it works.”

“Okay, just leave me the keys when you’re done,” I said, as I went to check the mail because I had ordered a sign that said, “Knock and receive permission to enter.” I had ordered the most formal one I could find so there would be no mistake about how I wanted things to go around here. This was my house, my rules. I didn’t have to ask Tim or anyone else how the rules should be around here. They were going to be exactly the way I wanted them.

Finally.

I felt like getting a crayon and writing a sign that said “no crazy allowed” at the base of the sign. But just because I knew what I wanted didn’t mean I had to be mean about what I didn’t want.

Joachim was just completing the installation of the new lock when I finished hanging the sign. "Your locks are ready, Mae," he smiled a pristine white package of teeth and handed me the keys.

“How do you know my name?” I asked, slightly perturbed.

He stood looking at me in awkward silence, but then held up the clipboard with the order sheet on it. “Your name is written at the top of the order sheet,” he said, tapping it lightly with his pen.

"Of course." I rolled my eyes at myself, wondering how I could be so naïve. Of course, my name was on the order sheet. "Well, thanks for the new keys. I appreciate it." I held out my hand for the keys, but he just stood there staring at me. I wasn't sure what else to do, so I opened the door, my hand still out. But he still made no motion to give me the keys.

We stared at each other blankly.

Then I realized he was probably waiting for a tip.

“Can the office just add a tip to the bill?” I asked. “I don’t have any cash on me. I know it’s probably better for you if I just had cash, but I’ll call your office and make sure you get a tip.”

“I don’t need a tip,” Joachim said, amusement in his dark eyes.

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