Page 61 of Burn

‘He’ll never love you. No one ever could.’

‘You’re not good enough.’

‘You hold everyone back.’

When I don’t respond, he pulls his phone from his pocket, and I watch him order a car to take us home. We stand in silence until the black car pulls up. Adrian opens the door, helping me inside. We don’t speak during the ride. The car cab is filled with soft music, and Adrian’s hand rests protectively on my thigh,tracing slow circles. We’re about a block away when the faint hum of my phone fills the car. I look at the clock on the dash; it’s just before midnight. I unzip my wristlet and pull my phone out. Blake’s name illuminates the screen, along with a photo of her and me from when we were younger.

I silence it, tucking it back in place, as Adrian opens the door to the car. It’s not until we’re in the elevator, riding up, that he asks, “Who’s Blake?”

I watch the numbers as the elevator climbs the floors. My voice is still quiet and small when I reply, “She’s my oldest, dearest friend.”

I can feel his eyes on me, but I keep mine on the numbers illuminating. The door opens, and he doesn’t move. “You didn’t answer.” I make the first move, stepping into the hall. He grabs my hand. It’s so different from how he’d grabbed me in the pharmacy, so I turn to face him. “Why didn’t you answer her call? Why would she call you so late?”

I laugh, just a little. It’s so interesting how I’m freaked out by him knowing about my mother in any capacity, but I also forget that he knows so little about me. “It’s not late for her. She lives on the West Coast, in my hometown,” I say softly, gently pulling him toward his apartment door.

It feels so much later than it is. Adrian insisted we leave the club after my revelation about birth control, and Rosie had opted to stay behind. Much to my dismay. Both she and Adrian reminded me how often she finds herself in clubs, on her own, working. Now, it’s minutes after midnight, and my body is exhausted. Adrian slides his key into the lock and pushes the door open. Mildred jumps onto the kitchen table as we walk in, mewing angrily at us.

“Fucking cat,” Adrian groans, swiping her onto the floor. “That’s so gross.”

Normally, I’d argue. She’s far from gross, but I don’t have it in me. I walk to the couch and sink into it. I’m reaching for my shoes when Adrian drops to his knees in front of me and pulls my foot into his lap, carefully undoing the strap and removing it. He presses his thumbs into the soles of my feet, and I can’t help but moan a little. I study his face. The way his brows still push together, his full lips, and the scruff that lines his jaw.

This man on his knees might be the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen.

He releases my foot to the ground and reaches for the other. He’s in the midst of massaging it when my phone rings again. His gaze flicks to my small purse next to me on the couch. He sounds warm and encouraging when he says, “Answer it.”

I sigh. Blake has called several times a day since Adrian returned my phone, but I’ve been avoiding answering. I don’t know the answer to the question I know she’ll ask. Adrian drops my foot, reaches for my bag, and pulls the phone out, answering it before I can stop him. He presses the button to put it on speaker, and says, “Hello?”

There’s a long pause before Blake replies, “Uh. Hi? I’m looking for Morgan?”

I sit up and reach for the phone, but he pulls it back and says, “Hi, Blake. I’m Adrian. Morgan is right here.”

I fucking hate hearing that name coming out of his mouth. Blake and my dad are the only people I tolerate hearing it from, and I cringe hearing him say it.

“Morgan?” Blake sounds so confused.

“Yeah. I’m here. Hi, Blake.”

“Why are you avoiding me? I’ve called you like a million times.”

Adrian shakes, silently laughing, and I roll my eyes. “Sorry, Blake. It’s been an interesting week. What’s up?”

There’s no beating around the bush. Her tone is curt and annoyed when she asks, “Are you coming to my wedding or not?”

I lean back onto the couch, staring up at the ceiling and feeling the weight of Adrian’s stare. “I…” I start, trailing off, because I don’t fucking know.

I don’t know if Icango. If I can handle being back in that town.

Adrian’s voice surprises me, “Remind us of when it is again?”

My head snaps up as I glare at him, shaking my head in an attempt to silently tell him to shut the hell up.

Blake sighs, “Hello, Adrian, was it?” This makes me chuckle, despite being ready to kill Adrian. She’s usually so sweet. “My wedding is in two weekends, as Morgan is aware.”

“Well,” he starts, his tone shifting, sounding defensive, “As I’m sure you are aware, Morgan had a fire at her place. I think we can give her a little grace for being more flaky than usual, huh?”

Blake must be in the mood to argue because she starts to say, “Yes, but…”

Adrian cuts her off, continuing, “If you could please resend the details, address, and time, and I assume Morgan has a plus one?”

---