Page 58 of Second Shot

“I know.” His voice rumbles beneath my ear. “Just a few more minutes, okay?”

I smile. “Okay.” Who’d have ever thought that Ryan Caldwell was a cuddler?

After a minute, he says softy, “I really like this, Gabe. Being with you.” He sounds a little nervous. “No where I’d rather be.”

“Same.” I smile up at him.

Appearing relieved, he lowers his head, and the kiss he gives me is so soft and tender my toes curl. That’s not just a lover’s kiss. Lust isn’t driving it. This kiss is something far more meaningful than sex, and it both excites and terrifies me. We’re falling in love with each other. I can feel it happening.

My earlier guilty thoughts return. They’re never far away lately. Even though I’m scared, I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to tell Ryan the truth about who I am. I just can’t do it right this second. Not after sharing such a bonding, intimate moment with him. Besides, we have to travel home today. I can’t drop a bomb on him like that and then expect him to just happily ride on a bus for six hours.

The considerate thing to do is to wait until we’re back in Sierra Point. A conversation like theone we need must have privacy. I’ll invite Ryan to spend the night tonight, and then I’ll just rip the Band-Aid off. My gut churns at the thought of being honest with Ryan. Even though I know it’s the right thing to do, and it islongoverdue, I’m still terrified. Terrified I’ll lose him.

But if we have any chance at all of a future together, he has to know the truth. Even if ultimately he decides he hates me for lying, it’s something I must do.

Just don’t lie to me again, okay? I have trouble trusting people as it is.

I’ve already lied to him for months. Will he forgive me, or will he hate me? That’s the question. I’d probably hate him if our positions were reversed. I can only hope that the feelings I have toward him are ones that he shares. If he loves me, he might forgive me.Or he’ll feel ten times more betrayed, a little voice in my head says.

“Okay,” Ryan groans, throwing back the covers. He sits up and grins at me over his shoulder. “I’ve put it off as long as I can. Just gotta bite the bullet.”

My heart aches at his words. He has no idea how much they hurt, or how close to they are to the truth. But as I watch him stride to the bathroom, humming a cheery tune, I know I can no longer hide.

Tonight is the night I tell Ryan Caldwell who I really am.

Chapter Fourteen

Ryan

Gabe invited me to stay at his place tonight, which I’m thrilled about. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to sit together on the bus ride home. I’m looking forward to being at Gabe’s house tonight for sure. I’m glad we get to share a hotel room on the road, but we don’t have the privacy we have at his place. We have to be careful how we act around the guys. But when we’re at his place, we can touch each other and not worry. Not that I’d mind if the team knew about us, but Gabe seems really reticent to make anything public. He’s a private guy, so I have to respect his wishes.

Since we just played a game and had to travel, Coach called an optional practice tomorrow, a maintenance day. That means the rink will be open for anyone who wants extra work. Most of the veterans will go for treatment, watch film, or hit the gym lightly. I’ll see what Gabe’s doing before I decide what I want to do

Making the playoffs feels like a dream. I’ve been on two teams that got in, only to get bounced in the first round. This time I want a real run. I’m not getting ahead of myself and talking about lifting the Cup yet. There are some absolutewagon teams waiting for us. But going deeper would be amazing. We just need to play our game and see how far we can push it. I can’t even imagine how cool it would be to win the Cup with Gabe. Fuck, that would be epic.

Even though we literally just got in the playoffs, there’s already a lot more interest from the press. There was a group of reporters waiting for us near our bus this morning, outside of the hotel. Coach answered some of the questions they threw at us, but our publicity guy, Jed Harkin, handled the majority of them. I didn’t say a word. I’m always too nervous to talk to the press unless forced to do it.

The drone of the bus engine is lulling and I doze off at one point. I wake up about a half hour before we arrive at the Seadragon Center. I didn’t get much sleep sharing a bed with Gabe. But it was worth it. Stretching, I glance over my shoulder and meet Gabe’s gaze across the aisle. He gives me a small conspiratorial smile that’s filled with promise, and it makes heat curl low in my belly. I can’t wait to get him alone. I literally can’t get enough of him.

As we pull into the players’ lot at the Seadragon Center, I spot a crowd near the entrance. A cluster of fans waits for autographs, and a larger pack of local media hovers, probably angling for more playoff quotes. I’m not sure howmany times Jed has to tell them we’re thrilled to be in. Isn’t that pretty obvious?

But as the bus doors hiss open and the first guys start getting off, I realize these reporters aren’t like the ones outside the hotel. This group is way more aggressive. They explode into motion the second they spot me. I’m caught off guard by how they zero in on me instead of the whole team. Cameras flash like strobe lights. Reporters surge forward with mics shoved out like weapons, and the questions they start yelling make my blood run cold.

“Ryan Caldwell, is it true you bullied Gabriel Jacobs in middle school?”

“Ryan, what’s your response to the allegations about Gabriel Jacobs?”

“Ryan, did you know your teammate, Gabriel Jacobs, was one of your victims?”

The words hit me like physical blows. I freeze on the bus steps, trying to process what I’m hearing while chaos erupts around me. Behind me, I can hear the guys muttering in confusion, Coach Donnelly demanding to know what the hell is going on.

But all I can focus on is the name that keeps getting shouted.

Gabriel Jacobs.

Gabriel.

Gabe.

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