Page 36 of Second Shot

“Yes. I still want to fuck you, Ryan,” he says softly. “In my bed. More than once, if you’ll let me.”

I swallow hard. “Okay, just making sure.” I shift in my seat, trying to think of how to tell him I don’t want to use a condom. Not if we’ve both been tested recently. I was tested when I got here by the team doctor, and I’m hoping he’s been recently tested too. I really don’t want a barrier between us when we fuck for the first time. I want tofeelhis bare cock inside me.

He looks up and frowns. “You okay? Your face is red.”

I laugh sheepishly. “I’m trying to think of a subtle way to ask if you’ve been tested for STDs/STIs lately without sounding crass.”

He narrows his eyes. “You want to fuck without a condom?”

“Yes,” I admit. “It just feels better. And I got tested when I arrived. Last checkup was all clear.”

He smiles slowly. “And you want to know if I’ve been tested recently, so we can skip the rubbers?”

I exhale. “It’s just, I haven’t bottomed in a while.”

“You haven’t?”

“No.” I grimace.

His expression becomes more serious. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I definitely want to,” I say quickly. “But the only times it felt good was when the guy didn’t wear a condom.” That damn heat is back in my face. “I’m wondering what your thoughts are on barebacking?”

“Obviously, I’m a fan.” He laughs.

I smile. “Me too. With the right person.”

He sets the tongs down. “To be honest, I haven’t been with anyone in about three months. I… I just haven’t been interested. But I still got tested because of being on the team. My tests were all clear.”

“Okay.” Excitement ripples through me. “Then do you want to forego the rubbers?” I wait for his response, holding my breath.

“You sure you’re okay with that? I’ll do whatever you want.” His voice is gentle. “Sex feels plenty good with a rubber too. I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. I’m fine either way, Ryan.”

“I trust you,” I say softly, and I mean it. “I want to go without.”

“Okay, then we will.” He clears his throat, looking down at the boiling pasta. “Now, because of you, I have to finish cooking the meal with a damn boner. Thanks a lot, Caldwell.” I laugh and he smiles, his cheeks pink from the steaming pot of water he’s standing over.

Gabe shifts the conversation to everyday life things. He talks about his parents, and how he’s an only child. He tells me how both his parents used to go to all his varsity games. I listen as he weaves a tale of a happy, well-adjusted childhood. In fact, I’m envious at how wonderful his childhood sounds. His parents obviously doted on him, and that’s something I never had.

“You’re lucky,” I say. “Sounds like you had a really perfect childhood.”

His face tenses, and he turns away from me, moving to the sink. “It wasn’t all Care Bears and rainbows.”

“I guess nobody’s childhood is perfect.”

He dries his hands on a dish towel, avoiding my gaze. “No, I don’t suppose so.” His expression is pinched. “The truth is, I was bullied in middle school.”

I widen my eyes. “You were?” I wince, thinking back on what a loathsome shit I’d been in middle school. It makes me sick to think of someone bullying Gabe, but I’d been no better than whoever had done that to him. “Why were you bullied?”

“Does it matter?” His voice is hard. “I didn’t deserve it, no matter what their reason. It was wrong.”

“A hundred percent.” I nod. “I didn’t mean to imply there’s ever a good reason to bully someone.” The fact that he was bullied makes me positive I must never share what a horrible person I was in middle school. He’d probably instantly hate me.

Gabe looks at me, his expression hard to read. “They say sometimes bullies are bullied themselves, and that’s why they do it.”

My face warms. “Do they?” If I told him I was bullied too, would he be more understanding of what a jerk I’d been to otherkids? I’m not sure, and I’m afraid to be too honest in case I screw everything up between us. “What did your bully do to you?”

He shrugs one shoulder. “Typical bully stuff. He’d push me around, call me names, rip up my homework. Basically, he did his best to make my life hell

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