Page 67 of On Ice

“Tires of you?” He squints. “What does that mean?”

My face grows hot. “The important thing is he no longer needs me to throw games.”

“Okay,” he says cautiously. “But whatdoeshe want you to do?”

I grit my teeth, struggling with being truthful. I’m embarrassed to be involved with Luca sexually, but Noah already knows we slept together. I decide to give him more details about the entire situation, rather than focusing on the sexual part of my agreement. “Originally, Luca wanted me to throw the game against Chicago.”

He sucks in a breath.

“I couldn’t do it.” I wince. “But when I refused to throw the Chicago game, I pissed off a lot of really dangerous people. They’re not only mad at me, they’re mad at Luca for assuring them I’d toe the line and throw the game. They bet big and lost even bigger. They wanted someone to pay.”

“Shit.” Noah blanches. “Let me guess. They wanted you to be the one who paid?”

“Frankly, they just wanted blood. But naturally, Luca wasn’t about to take that bullet for me. So, he was going to make an example of me. That was the only way he could calm them all down. He ordered Marco to get rid of me, to satisfy his pal’sneed for vengeance.” I grimace because saying everything aloud makes me sound insane.

Noah looks horrified. “Jesus. But… but you’re still alive, thank god.”

“I am.” I grimace. “I’m now under Luca’s protection.”

Confusion washes over Noah’s features. “He ordered your death, but now he’s protecting you?”

“It’s a really long story,” I mumble. “Frankly, I think it’s best if you don’t know all the sordid details. The bottom line is, Luca is now shielding me.”

“So… for some reason now Luca is protecting you. Did that make you feel beholden to him? Is that why you’re… together?” He bugs his eyes. “Wait, are you actuallyintohim?”

“Hell, no. But I need him. And because he kept me alive, he needs me too. By keeping me around, he looks weak, unless I’m his lover. “

“Oh.” Noah nods as if he understands but his bewildered expression makes it clear he doesn’t. “So then he has a thing foryou? That’s why he kept you alive?”

I shake my head. “No. It’s not like that. He doesn’t give a shit about me. He’s using me. We’re using each other, actually.”

“Using each other how?”

“It’s really complicated.” I can’t begin to figure out how to tell Noah all the details of my arrangement with Luca, without sounding crazy.

“Yeah, I can see that,” Noah mumbles. “I’m… I’m not sure what to say.” He flicks his worried gaze to mine. “You need to get away from him. We need to go to the police for help.”

“No,”I say sharply and he flinches. “Sorry, it’s just, we can’t go to the police. It’s too dangerous. He’d find out. He has people everywhere.”

“You can’t just be with a guy like that. It’s too dangerous. It’s too… twisted.”

Noah looks so freaked out, I worry he might ignore me and go to the cops on his own. I’m compelled to tell him more than I want, just to keep him quiet. As much as I loathe doing it, I need to paint Luca in a more favorable light. Maybe then Noah can grasp why we can’t go to the authorities. “It’s not all bad, Noah. He’s also helping me financially with my family.”

“He is?” Noah blinks at me. “How? Why?”

I sigh. “He’s going to pay for a bunch of stuff like Mom’s nursing home and Dad’s legal bills.”

“Why would he do that?”

I shrug. “I guess to help convince me to go along with his plan.”

“I see,” murmurs Noah, his face darkening. “So, he’s manipulating you emotionallyandsexually.”

I groan. “God, it’s not really as bad as it sounds. And it’s just temporary.”

He looks nauseated. “Do you hear yourself? You seem so calm and accepting. Why aren’t you justifiably disgusted by this situation?”

“Because the alternative wasdeath,” I say through gritted teeth.

---