Page 125 of On Ice

“You think money can fix anything, don’t you?” I ask.

He sighs, turning me around gently. His expression is so tender, it hurts to see it. He knows bad things are coming my way, and he’s hurting for me. “No. But it can sometimes help. Isn’t it worth a try?”

I hold his gaze. There’s a lump in my throat as I voice my deepest fears. “What if it doesn’t help? What if she’s just... dies anyway?”

Luca’s expression doesn’t change, but his eyes flicker. “Then she’ll go with the best care possible. And you’ll know you did everything you could.” He touches my cheek. “I know you, Evan.Youneedto feel you did all you could, or the guilt will destroy you. I want to protect you from that, okay?”

I nod, swallowing against the tightness in my throat. “Okay.”

“Yeah?” He lifts his brows, looking hopeful. “You’ll let me bring in the specialist?”

“If you really want to, yeah.”

He squeezes my shoulder once, then lets his hand fall away. “I’ll make the arrangements.”

“Thank you.” I smile weakly.

I expect him to return to bed, to pick up his tablet and resume whatever work occupied him before my arrival. Instead, he remains beside me, his gaze steady.

“What?” I ask finally.

“Does it bother you that I want to help?” he asks quietly. “Do you think I’m trying to control you?”

“God. No. Not at all. I’m… I’m just not good at needing help,” I admit.

A ghost of a smile touches his lips. “I’ve noticed.”

“Even from you,” I add softly. “Maybe especially from you.”

His expression doesn’t change, but I see the question in his eyes.

“You’ve helped me so much financially,” I try to explain. “Sometimes I feel like I’m not holding up my end.”

“Are you serious?” He scowls. “Having you here. Beside me. It’s everything. Your love, is everything. Do I not show that enough?”

“But loving you is so easy, and you’ve spent so much money on my family. If you compare the two things, it doesn’t balance.”

“Love isn’t a balance sheet, Evan,” he says. “Even I know that isn’t how it should be.”

“I… I know, but—”

“There is no ‘but,’” he says gruffly. “My love for you isn’t transactional. I realize that might be hard to grasp, considering how I was in the beginning. But that Luca doesn’t exist anymore. Not where you’re concerned. I want to give you anything you need. Anything, okay?”

I look at him, really look at him. The man who most people only see as dangerous, calculating, heartless. Who is all those things, but also the man who watches every one of my games, who told me he loved me first, and who is bringing in a specialist for my mother without being asked.

I move to hug him, pushing my face against his chest. He wraps his arms around me, kissing my hair. “I’m sorry if I seem ungrateful,” I say quietly. “I’ll try not to be so prideful.”

“You can be however you need to be. I’ll do what I think is best.”

I smile because there was a time when I’d have thought he was being arrogant. But he’s just being Luca. He’s taking care of me, and if that means paying for things that make me cringe, he’ll still do it.

“Now,” he says in a bossy voice, “Strip out of the rest of your clothes and get in my bed.”

I laugh and begin to undress. Even though he returns to his side of the bed, I feel his eyes on me. He watches me take off eachpiece of clothing, and when I look up, his eyes are dark with lust. My pulse spikes at the hunger in his eyes and I climb into bed.

He grabs lube from the drawer, and slips out of his pajama bottoms. Then he gets under the covers with me. He moves closer, running his eyes and hands over my naked body. I moan at his touch, craving more.

Mom is slipping away. Has been for years, really, but now the process is accelerating, becoming tangible, inevitable. But having Luca in my life helps me cope. As stressful as my life is, I have him to come home to at the end of each day. I’ve never had that before. Someone waiting for me. Looking forward to me arriving home each night. If I suddenly lost it, I don’t know what I’d do.

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