Page 88 of The Manny

“Yes.”

“Did guys try and… do things to you?”

He grimaced. “I was in more danger of being beaten than raped, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I’m not asking anything specific.”

“I wouldn’t blame you if you were. Thanks to TV everyone thinks that’s all that goes on in prison. Rape is happening for sure, but it’s not every day, all day. Most guys take care of their needs privately. If you want that, there are guys willing to give you a blow job for a couple of packages of ramen, but people aren’t being gangbanged nonstop on the inside.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“Frankly, it was the other stuff that was harder. The mental stuff. Loneliness is a big deal for a lot of guys. That wasn’t the hardest part for me because I was alone my whole life, it felt like. But having to watch my back all the time, watch what I said or did so carefully, it wears on you. Lionel liked me, but he was touchy. Paranoid. While he kept me from being bullied by the others, he bullied me in his own way.”

“I thought you said you were lucky?”

He shrugged. “I was. It could have been so much worse for me. But, because of Lionel, I had one bully to contend with, not fifty.”

“Oh.”

“Oddly enough, dealing with my dad my whole life kind of prepared me for that situation. I did my best to keep Lionel happy, and he kept the others from making my life worse.”

“God.” I shivered. “I hate thinking of you in that situation.”

“Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.”

I lifted my head and met his wary gaze. “No. I’m glad you told me this stuff. I really am. I care about you, Jack.”

He blinked at me. “I know, but I didn’t mean to dump this depressing crap on you.”

“Stop.” I leaned up and kissed him. He responded, although I could feel he was holding back. When the kiss ended, I said, “I’m glad you feel happier these days.”

He shrugged. “Not that I think these good feelings will last.”

“Why wouldn’t they? There’s no reason why good feelings can’t last.”

“Nothing good ever lasts.”

“You’re wrong, Jack.”

“Not sure I am.”

I sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to prove it to you.”

He chuffed. “Don’t waste your time on me.”

“I don’t consider you a waste of my time.”

“If you say so.” He glanced past me at the clock. “It’s later than I thought.”

I sighed. “I guess I should go back to my room.”

“I wasn’t hinting. I was just surprised it’s almost 2:00 a.m.”

“I know, but it probably is time I went back to my own bed.”

“In a bit,” he said gruffly. “Just stay here with me a while longer.”

I smiled, happy he wanted me with him. “Whatever you say, Jack. I’ll stay as long as you want.”

---