“I doubt that.”
“Well, you’d know best.”
Ignoring his sarcasm, I said, “From what I understand, you were just a kid when it happened.”
“I was eighteen.”
“Eighteen is still very young.”
“Maybe, but it’s not a kid, legally. They were able to charge me as an adult because of my age.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.” His mouth thinned. “But to be honest, if I don’t think about it too often, it feels like it happened to someone else. It doesn’t affect me.”
I frowned. “Jack, there’s no way you went through something like that and it didn’t affect you.”
“I’ve put it behind me.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you carry it with you. You use it as a shield to keep people away.”
He gave a hard laugh. “That’s just stupid.”
My face warmed, but I ignored his rude comment. “That experience damaged you. It shaped you. Same with your childhood. But it doesn’t have to be a permanent change. You can be whoever you want to be.”
“You’re so good at spewing this drivel, you should be a motivational speaker,” he muttered.
“Now you’re lashing out because I’m trying to get closer to you.”
“Jesus.” He shook his head. “You’re relentless.”
“Yeah, I am. Might as well spill your guts to me.”
Scowling, he said, “Maybe I’m fine with who I am. You ever think of that?”
“Perhaps I’d buy that if you didn’t seem upset about the things Brody said.” I studied him. “And the grumpy thing from Mia bothered you too. It’s obvious you want to be one thing, but are being seen as another.”
He set his beer bottle down on the table, looking frustrated. “I’m a good man. I work hard and I treat people with respect. So what if sometimes I lose my temper? People do that. It’s notthatbig of a deal. At least I don’t break anyone’s jaw or send them to the ER. Who cares if I look grumpy or yell a little?”
I leaned toward him. “Youcare because you don’t like how that makes people see you. This isn’t about Mia or Brody. This is about how you don’t like how they see you. They’re onlyreactingto what you do, Jack.”
He hunched over, his face tense. “But I don’t hurt anybody.”
“You hurt yourself. You’re hurt right now.”
He looked over, a slightly confused expression on his face. “Am I really that bad?”
A lump formed in my throat and I got up and crouched in front of him. I put my hands on his thighs, and said softly, “I think you’re amazing. I think you overcame huge odds and made something of yourself. I think you care about people way more than you know how to show. I think you’re one of the finest men I’ve ever met, Jack.”
He held my gaze, surprise moving through his eyes. He blinked at me wordlessly, then he took my hands in his. His thumb swept over my skin, making me breathless. For the first time since I’d met him, I felt truly connected to him. I could feel his raw pain and confusion. I wanted to comfort him, but wasn’t sure how.
He said quietly, “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
“Same.” I smiled weakly. “But for once, I actually mean that in a good way.”
He didn’t smile. “Maybe I am an asshole. I’m not sure anymore. I’ve never been able to count on anyone. Ever. I ended up in prison because I thought I could.”
“What do you mean?”