Page 156 of The Manny

“Really?” he asked softly.

“Yes. Then… when I thought you’d… died?” I gritted my teeth and shook my head. “All I know is, I can’t lose you for real. I… I can’t handle that.”

“I can barely believe what I’m hearing.”

“I know. I don’t blame you.” I held out my hand to him. “Can you forgive me?”

He took my hand, even though he still looked uncertain. He stared at our clasped fingers, a line between his brows.

“Please forgive me,” I said quietly. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I’m not saying I won’t still struggle with things. Being open isn’t easy for me, and I’ve never been in an actual relationship. But I want to be with you, Thomas. I need to be with you. I’m finally willing to face that truth.”

His eyes warmed slightly as he held my gaze. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear you say that.”

I felt a nudge of hope because he seemed to be softening a bit. “I’m saying it because I mean it. I know that I deserve your suspicion. I deserve your resentment and anger. Yell at me. Call me names. Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel better. So long as you come to me in the end, I’ll happily take it.”

His face tensed. “I don’t want to yell at you. I… I want to believe this is real. But, please Jack, I can’t take it if it’s not. Don’t offer this to me if you have evenonedoubt about being with me.”

I stood and moved around the table to him. He looked shocked when I got on my knees. He swiveled to face me, his mouth hanging open, and I put my hands on his thighs. My face was hot, but I forced myself to meet his startled gaze.

“Thomas, I… I love you.” My voice was husky and the words stiff, but I was proud of myself for saying them. “I’ve never said that to another man before. I’ve never even wanted to.”

His bottom lip quivered. “I’m in shock.”

“I know.” I gave a jagged laugh. “Frankly, so am I.”

He touched my cheek. “If you don’t know what love is, how can you be sure you loveme?”

“Because the thought of living without you is excruciating. Unthinkable.” I shivered when he slipped his hands into my hair. “Maybe I don’t deserve another chance, but I want one.”

“Even though there are no guarantees that things will work out with us?”

I grimaced. “Yes. I… I don’t know if I can ever be normal, but I can try.”

He frowned. “Jack, I don’t need you to be normal. Whatever that even means. I love you how you are. So long as you’re not pushing me away.”

I sighed. “What would be the point of that now? I’m literally on my knees for you.”

He gave a happy laugh. “Yeah, you are.”

My face was hot, but I stayed where I was. “You wanted me to ask you to stay, so here I am asking. Please don’t go to Germany, Thomas. Stay here with me and Mia.”

He swallowed hard. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.” I held his gaze. “I love you, Thomas. You showed me what happiness is. I guess I’m greedy because I want more.”

“If I wake up and this was all a dream,” he said softly. “I’m going to be really pissed.”

I grinned. “It’s not a dream. I’m literally on my knees, begging you to love me.”

He gave a sweet smile and leaned forward to kiss me. His lips were warm and gentle. My heart ached with happiness because, without words, he was telling me yes.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Thomas

I was still in shock at Jack’s change of heart, but I wasn’t stupid enough to reject him for pride’s sake. If he wanted me, I was his. There wasn’t really any choice in the matter. I loved him.

We ended up in his room, where we slowly undressed and climbed under the soft sheets. Our kisses were gentle at first, but they quickly built in intensity. My head throbbed, but I didn’t care. Jack had confessed his feelings for me, and I needed him inside me now.

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