Page 155 of The Manny

He smiled. “That’s true.”

I moved to the coffee maker to get myself some much needed caffeine. “I’m taking today off.” I glanced at him over my shoulder. “I don’t want you to be alone today.”

“But… you have a business to run. You can be staying home just because of me.” He wrinkled his brow.

“I’m the boss. I can take days when I need to.” I smiled. “Brody knows what happened to you. He’s handling things for me at the shop.”

“I see.” He frowned.

“Stop looking so worried. Can I get you some breakfast?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Don’t you think you should still eat?”

He laughed softly. “It feels like our roles have reversed.”

“I guess that’s true.” I sat down across from him at the table, taking in his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes. “Do you have a headache?”

“A tiny one.”

“Can I get you something for the pain?”

“Maybe later.” He clenched his jaw and sat up straighter. “I… uh… I won’t hold you to what you said yesterday.”

“No?”

He sighed. “I realize what happened to me was a shock, and you probably said certain things to comfort me.” He dropped his gaze to the mug he held. “I appreciate how sweet you were, but I understand the score.”

I frowned. “The score?”

He shrugged but didn’t speak.

The sad tilt of his mouth made my stomach hurt. “Thomas, the score is that I don’t want you to go to Germany,” I said quietly.

He flicked his uneasy gaze to mine. “But it’s already settled.”

“Then I guess we need to unsettle it because I don’t want you to go.”

He pulled his brows together. “First you do, then you don’t. Which is the real Jack?”

“They’re all the real Jack.” I sighed. “I wasn’t faking how I was before. I truly was letting fear run my life. The fear of being tricked or hurt was all that mattered.” I met his worried gaze. “I was an idiot. I don’t know why I couldn’t see it then, but I see it now.”

“You had reasons.”

“Maybe. But what kind of a way is that to live?”

He bit his lip. “That’s what I was trying to tell you.”

“I know.” I groaned. “But the fear was too strong. I’d been that way for so long, I couldn’t imagine changing.” I gritted my teeth. “But Iwantto change.”

“Change isn’t easy.”

“I know.” I met his inscrutable gaze. “But as you pointed out, I did change with Mia. That shows I’m capable. When I actually try.”

“You said you had no choice with Mia, but that you did with me.”

I winced. “Yes. I said a lot of stupid things. But I can tell you this, Thomas, pretending I didn’t care about you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

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