Page 123 of The Manny

“Why would you think that?”

“I thought maybe that was why she wasn’t around. Like my mommy can’t be here.”

Wrinkling my brow, I said quietly, “No. She was alive.”

Confusion painted her features. “But… how can a mommy not want to be around?”

I sighed. “She was… sick.” I didn’t really want to go into detail to a five-year-old about my mother being a druggie. Mia’s face already seemed tense just from the little I’d said.

“Oh. Was she in the hospital?”

“Sometimes.”

Mia laid the book down. “Mommy said one day we’d come and see you.”

Stunned, I stared at her wordlessly. After a few moments, I said, “Really?”

“Yes.” Her gaze was sincere.

My eyes stung as I whispered, “Are you sure she said that?”

“Yes. She said we’d surprise you, and that she’d probably cry.”

Jules had planned to come see me one day? I wiped roughly at my eyes, trying to contain the feelings her words had stirred inside of me. “I… I didn’t know that.”

“Cuz it was a surprise, silly.”

I laughed gruffly. “Right.”

“Toby told Mommy that it would be a good thing to do.”

“Did he?”

Mia nodded. “Toby said family was important.”

I swallowed hard. “Toby sounds… like a nice person.”

Her mouth drooped. “He was really nice to me and Mommy.”

A lump rose in my throat. I wished I could have met Toby, and seen Jules once more. Life could be so cruel sometimes, and things were so easily ripped from you and lost forever. I sniffed and wiped at my eyes again, trying to contain my frustration and sadness.

Mia pushed back the covers and crawled over to me. “Don’t cry, Uncle Jack. It’s okay.”

That only made things worse, and I had to bite my cheek hard to keep my emotions in check. I smiled at her, hoping she couldn’t see how emotional I felt, but I must have failed miserably. A little frown appeared between her light brows. She climbed in my lap and put her arms around my neck.

Shocked at the affectionate gesture, I gently hugged her back. “I’m okay, Mia.”

“You look more sadder.”

“Nah.” I patted her little back. “I’m just happy to know your mommy wanted to see me again someday.” Maybe Jules wouldn’t have followed through, but simply knowing she’dwantedto see me meant the world. The knowledge helped plug up a few painful holes in my soul. Thinking Jules had forgotten all about me had been one of the most painful things in my life. But she hadn’t forgotten, and that was everything.

Her tiny arms tightened around my neck. “I’ll never leave you, Uncle Jack. Okay?”

The lump in my throat burned painfully as I said, “Thanks, Mia.”

I’d never really know why Jules hadn’t reached out to me. It was frustrating, but that was just how it was. Maybe she hadn’t trusted that if she’d contacted me, I wouldn’t have told Dad where she was. I wouldn’t have. I’d have gone to the grave before I’d have given her up. But I couldn’t blame her for being frightened. She’d finally escaped, and she’d probably lived in dread of Dad finding her.

I’d only been ten when Jules left, but I still felt guilt that I hadn’t looked out better for her back then. I’d been a self-centered kid, just doing my best not to get my ass beat by Dad every night. God only knew what poor Jules had had to endure from our twisted old man. The depressing part was that I couldn’t turn back time. I couldn’t go back and rescue Jules. All I could do to make it up to Jules now was to take care of Mia to the best of my ability. I’d honor Jules by protecting her daughter, in a way I’d never done for her.

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