Page 112 of The Manny

He nodded. “I’d like to experience love, yeah. But then, I also don’t like the idea of being tied down.”

“Those two things won’t jibe.”

“I know.”

I laughed. “I’m shocked to discover there’s more depth to you than I suspected, Scott.” I shook my head. “I’d have never guessed it.”

“I do my best to hide it.” He met my gaze. “Please don’t spread it around.”

“Never.”

He exhaled roughly. “So, what do we do about the Brody situation?”

“I’ll suggest you two have a chat. I think he’ll feel better once you talk it out.”

“I hope so.” He poked at the salt on the rim of his margarita. “I’d hate to never hang out with Brody again.”

“You know, even if you talk it out, you might have fucked up your friendship with him for good. There may be no fixing it.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “But I need for him to not hate me.”

“Yeah.” I understood what he was saying only too well. Even if I was treating Thomas like I barely noticed him, that was all fake. I was aware of his every move and expression. I wanted him to talk to me. Notice me. Even as I did my best to ignore him. I sometimes felt obsessed with him. It was terrifying, and my only defense was to pretend like he was nothing to me. But even that hurt because then he ignored me too.

“Why does this shit have to be so complicated?” he muttered.

“I don’t know. It just is for guys like us.”

He gave a sad smile. “Yeah. Guys like us.”

The waitress returned with plates of food, and the conversation turned to things less painful. Scott told me about a car he had his eye on, and I was glad because I didn’t want to think about Thomas. I wanted to pretend I was fine the way I was.

Whether it was true or not.

Chapter Twenty

Thomas

Saturday night, determined to find a guy who’d take my mind off Jack, I’d gone on a dating app. I wanted to find a date for Sunday and that was my fastest option. Whether it was a good decision or not, I’d been matched up to a bunch of guys. Most of them had simply been looking for a hookup, but I’d hoped for something more meaningful. A hookup wouldn’t be distracting enough. I needed to find a guy who captivated my mindandmy libido.

That was how I ended up on a date with Dan.

Dan and I agreed to meet at an Italian restaurant named Osteria Mamma that was located in the center of town. He’d volunteered to wear a red carnation, so I’d know who he was. When my Uber driver pulled up to the curb in front of the restaurant, I noticed a middle-aged man out front, scrolling through his phone. I was confused when I observed the red carnation tucked in the lapel of his sports coat. It quickly became clear that Dan had lied about his age. He was easily a decade older than his profile photos, and about twenty pounds heavier. Had he thought I wouldn’t notice the differences? His age and weight wouldn’t necessarily have been a turn-off to me, but what was a definite turn-off was that he’dlied.

I’d picked Dan because he’d been the only guy who hadn’t suggested we meet up and fuck in the first five minutes of chatting. He’d said he was looking for a real relationship. His profile had said he was active, loyal, and intelligent. It only later occurred to me that could have also described a German Shepard. And, to be fair to Dan, he’d never listed honest as one of his qualities.

“You must be Thomas,” Dan said, holding out his hand. His blond hair was silver at the temples, and his dark eyes a muddy brown.

“I take it you’re Dan?”

“Sure am.” He gave a self-conscious laugh. “At last we meet in person.”

“Yes.” I forced a smile.

He ran his gaze over me, nodding approvingly. “It’s nice to meet someone who actually looks like their photo.”

Seriously, Dan?

I had no idea how to respond, so I simply gestured to the front door of the restaurant. “Shall we go inside?” I was annoyed with him for lying to me, but I’d give him a chance. Maybe he was charming and witty. Perhaps he’d be so amazing, I’d be able to overlook the fact that he’d misled me about his age.

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